xxv.

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i realised there are worse things than a boy not loving you back. 

there's being so sad for no reason. 

there's anxiety keeping you up at night. 

there's studying for hours and still failing the test. 

there's not getting into the college you always dreamed of. 

there's your mom crying, or her on her death bed, or your parents dying. 

there's losing a pet or a friend or yourself. 

and i realised there's more important things in life than who you're going to end up with. 

like who are you gonna end up like? 

what kind of person will you be? 

will you end up having a career you enjoy? 

will you have somebody to call when you're crying? 

and i realised it when you weren't there when i was lying on my bedroom floor, when you cancelled plans last minute, when you chose her over me, always chose me last, always came running back: i think i'm gonna be okay without you and i think this time, i mean it.

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