eleven ways i tried to tell you i really fucking miss you:
1. last weekend i almost called you but i didn't want to bother you and my hands were shaking too hard to dial anyway.
2. i kissed a boy i met a few weeks ago. i swallowed my tears when he wasn't looking and when i showed my mother a picture of the two of us, she told me he looks a lot like you.
3. i fell asleep on my best friend's couch and she told me i was crying in my sleep the way i used to when i missed you.
4. last night i was driving alone and the air felt like it did the first time you kissed me, when everything was cold except for us and cool air was hitting my teeth because i couldn't stop smiling. i almost crashed the fucking car.
5. i was in the store today and i saw a key chain with your name on it and i bought it. i've been squeezing it in my hand so hard it's leaving marks on my skin. there are still marks on my skin from the night you left. i've stopped thinking they'll go away.
6. i watched your favourite movie 4 times today.
7. the boy i sit next to in english class smells like you.
8. i was just calling to see how your little brother is doing.
9. i stopped drinking peppermint tea because it tastes too much like the days we used to spend together. i also stopped sleeping.
10. you left some stuff at my house, maybe you should come pick it up and we can get coffee or something.
11. i play your favourite song a lot. i don't even fucking like it.
[ song ; looking for a star - xxxtentacion ]
