I still have Amy stood facing me at arm’s length, I reach out my fingers and trace them over the bruises. She flinches and pulls her arm away. Again I choose to ignore the markings, she’s shaking far too much, more then she should but It’s no surprise when she’s stood here with bare arms. “You’re freezing” I comment but she just shrugs. I take off my own jacket without a second thought and I wrap it over her shoulders. “Go on” I urge her to put it on and she reluctantly pulls it over her. I pull her over to somewhere to sit. She doesn’t look ready to get down yet and face the world so I’m not going to force her down just like I’m not going to force her into telling me anything she’s not ready to. I need to let her know that I’m here for her, I’m a shoulder to cry on, someone she can trust and tell anything to.
“Thanks for the jacket … and everything” She says quietly and I smile at her sympathetically. She sits next to me and pulls the sleeves of my jacket over her hands as she notices my eyes again wander down in wonder. I put my hand in the pocket of the jacket she’s now wearing and i pull out a folded up tissue.
“Let’s sort your lip out, eh? Then you can tell me what’s happened” She leans back and I unfold the perfectly squared white piece of thin paper and wave it in front of her face comically. Don’t worry, its clean!” I hear the smallest little laugh I’ve ever heard come from her and her lips curl into a tiny smile presplitting her lip again causing more crimson red liquid to pour from the small but big enough cut. I swallow back the lump in my throat and I hold my hand to the back of her neck pulling her forward gently. She sticks out her bottom lip and I dab the tissue onto it soaking up the coppery blood, she winches as I touch her and tries to pull away but I keep the tissue pressed on the damaged skin. “Hold this for a minute” I tell her and she does.
“I’m sorry” She murmurs and she raises her eyes from the undesignated spot to look at me rummaging in my jean pockets.
“Don’t be, I’m sure I had my phone on me” I pat my other pocket and frown to myself. “Oh Cheryl has it, aren’t I stupid?” I joke and again she does a faint half hatred smile. I sit back beside her and pull the tissue away from her lip. Half of it sticks to the semi dry blood and Amy traces her tongue over the swollen area. “What are you doing up here?” I ask carefully and she shrugs her shoulders. This isn’t like Amy, she’s so closed off and …. Lifeless. It’s killing me seeing her like this. The look I’m giving her panics her and she searches for my hand.
“Not what you think! I wasn’t going to … you know!” I just blink and she continues trying to plead her innocence. “I just needed some air”
“And you thought the best place to get it was from ontop of a ten floor building?”
“I don’t know how to describe it but it just made me feel so alive” She leans back against the crumbling red bricks and continues to fiddle with the fabric of the jacket between her fingers. “I felt like I could finally breathe” There’s a small silence; I just watch her watching nothing. I have so many questions, I need so many answers but I’m scared in case I scare her off and we’re back where we started. I know what has happened to her, I know where these markings on her body are from. I’d have to be stupid to not know. I was once her, I was once in the opposite position as I am now and she knows that. She must know that I know. I just put my arm around her and pull her into me, She forgets about the front she’s putting on, she breaks down the wall and her silent cries turn into loud sobs against my chest. She’s clinging onto me with her blood stained fingers, shes refusing to let go and I don’t want her to. As long as she’s in my arms she’s safe so I wish we could stay like this forever. “Please don’t hate me, I thought it was a good idea to just leave at the time. I never gave any of you a second thought and I’m so sorry”
