It’s not just the once found myself lying to Cheryl about the secret meetings I‘ve been having with Jason, it sounds worse than it is. Much worse. Every other day when Cheryl’s been out working or doing a bit of last minute Christmas shopping I’ve been letting Paisley see as much of him as possible. They have their bond to strengthen after the past coupe months. I still feel guilty, of course I do but it’s for the best and I’m starting to warm to him. He’s not as unbearable as I had once thought. We’re with him now, he’s in our house, in our livingrom. Risky I know but Paisley looks so happy, the last thing I want to do is take away any happiness from her just to cover my own back. She’s stood in front of the TV with a hair brush in her hand and the other one raised in the air. Shes belting out her favourite songs from her favourite movie, frozen. Jason is sat beside me on the sofa that we have both been summoned to. He’s holding his phone up recording her little performance. He looks so genuinely happy, so genuinely proud. Maybe he’s turned a corner.
When Paisley comes to the end of the song the two of us clap while she grins proudly and does a little twirl holding onto the bottom of her nighty which of course has two frozen characters on it. Like most kids nowadays she’s obsessed with the animated film. “You’ve got a cracking little voice” Jason tells her and she comes bouncing over to climb up onto his knee.
“Can you sing it?”
“I don’t know the words and anyways I’m tone death your mum will tell you that” He laughs and I begin to giggle as I think back to all those years ago. I once caught him singing in the shower, I was literally in tears I had never laughed so much in my life. Through all the heartbreak, the bad times and the fights we had good times too. It wasn’t all bad.
“We can get the words, Please?”
“Pai, if he sings you’re going to get sore ears. He’s dreadful!” I joke but it isn’t entirely untrue. Jason nudges me in the arm and jumps up onto his feet placing a please Paisley onto the floor next to him.
“Right then, where’s the mic?”
His performance had me doubled over; the pain from the laughing was taking the wind out of me. Once again tears started to leak from my eyes. He mumbled along to the unknown lyrics then belted out the last few words so confidently, like he could sing even the tiniest bit. Paisley was in her element but was in hysterics too. It’s been a while since I’ve saw her laugh like that. “Oh my god” I breathe running my fingertip under my eye. “That was brilliant”
“You’re so funny” Paisley continues to laugh breathlessly and Jason swoops her up I the air tickling at her sides adding to the noise and breathless giggles. “Help!” She’s screaming at me, she’s holding out her arms so I play along and grab her from him. Acting like I’m protecting her from the monster in front of us. She carries on laughing into my ear as her arms tighten around me.
“Don’t think you’ve gotten away from me” Jason jokes, his fingers coming towards me. He tickles me now making me laugh just as much as I was before and he’s laughing too, we all are. I kick my legs begging him to stop then I hear a noise knocking us all silent, all apart from Paisley that is. As I hear the gravel outside crunching beneath tires Paisley runs to the window. “Mammys back!” She smiles banging on the window and waving her hand frantically. Both me and Jason just look at each other before I’m ordering him to escape through the back door, it’s like we’re having some sort of seedy affair. I hate this.
“When will I next see yo…Paisley” He corrects himself just as I’m pushing him out the door.
“I’ll text you, now get lost” I laugh quietly and Cheryl’ voice is getting louder as she gets closer to the kitchen. She’s calling my name and before I know it she’s in the room before I even get a chance to close the back door which is still wide open letting the heat out as my mum would always say to me.
