“Whys mammy going on tour again?” Asks Paisley as she’s sat at the kitchen with her head laying on her arm and her spoon dripping milk onto the polished wood. Despite Cheryl’s drunk state last night I can’t seem to shake off what she told me and neither can Paisley. I shouldn’t think too much about it, she was drunk and she’s probably just made it up, I highly doubt she will even remember saying it.
“She’s not babe, she was just being silly” I tell her hoping and praying that’s the truth. I pick up her bowl and run the damp cloth under it cleaning up the spilt food. “Can you sit up properly please?”
“No”
“I’ll just send you to nursery then will I?” I ask and she looks at me with concern and quickly shakes her head as she sits up straight. After everything that happened with the teacher yesterday I came to the conclusion that a day at home will not only do Paisley some good but the teacher too. It looks like I’m the only one not getting a rest today. Cheryl’s still in bed and I don’t expect her to get up until later this afternoon even though its already turned ten.
Once she’s done with her breakfast I take her upstairs to get her ready and as I’m sat with her in front of me and her hair in my hand when Cheryl’s head pokes around the door. She’s squinting through the light and after falling asleep with a full face of makeup her mascara has smudged around her eyes which Paisley finds amusing. “You look like a panda!”
“Feeling rough?” I ask stupidly. It’s obvious she is, she pulls up the hood of her grey hooded jacket and comes into the room properly to sit on Paisley’s small toddler sized white chair across from the bed. Her hands are hiding in her long sleeves, she looks as bad as I feel.
“Me head feels like it’s going to explode” she tells me and holds her hand to her forehead.
“You did it to yourself” I remind her just in case she’s forgot. “You were in some state last night”
“I can’t even remember what happened, I didn’t wake you up did i?”
“Just me and the rest of the house”
Paisley raises her shoulders as I tighten the bobble in her hair and she’s quick to get off the bed to climb onto Cheryl’s lap once I’m done. “Oh god I didn’t!”
“You were funny” Paisley tells her and she plays with her jacket in her hands. “You were stuck!”
“I was stuck?”
“You couldn’t get up” Paisley begins to laugh again and thinking about last night I start to chuckle too. Last night I was way too tired and irritated to find anything funny but now I’m seeing the funny side. “Are you really going?” She asks as she sits straight and looks at her in the face, Cheryl’s whole face changes and I can see she’s swallowed away what I’m assuming to be a lump in her throat. The look makes me think the worst, it makes me start to believe that what she said last night was true, maybe she really Is going away for a few months.
Cheryl clears her throat and looks over at me. “What did I say?” She asks genuinely having no recollection of any of last night’s events.
“You said something about … a tour” The way her face completely drops and she runs her hand down her face pretty much confirms that she meant what she said and Is now regretting saying it. I feel a tight pain in my chest as I realise this. “Paisley, can you go and see if your aunty Amy is awake for me please?” I ask Paisley but she shakes her head and holds onto Cheryl
“I want a cuddle off mam” She says and refuses to let go of her.
Cheryl manages to pull her hands away from gripping onto her jacket and she holds both of her hands in her own. “I’ll come downstairs after me and your mum have a little chat. We can watch frozen-“
