TANTRIC (Book 3 of the Soundcrush Series)

Chapter 2: Front Men Mix Mocktails

The song for this chapter is Magic, by Coldplay. I love this video...seeing the two main characters struggling to make a connection despite obstacles reminds me of Leed and Ash. Even though this chapter is told from Leed's perspective, the song is definitely about Ashlynn's perspective and the things she tells Leed...

Leed

I'm vaguely aware that Adam and I swivel around to face Ashlynn at the exact same moment, and phones around us start to flash.

Adam warns, "Two dozen amateur paps on the job, guys," but I only have eyes for the little fireball in front of me.

Ashlynn is hot in all the ways right now, but her attitude is calm, "No worries. There's not a problem here, except the Lion gnashing his teeth."

Even when she's unhappy with me, she's one of the most beautiful women I have ever had the pleasure to lay eyes on. Not just because she's fit and firm and facially blessed like a goddess, it's because she's so goddamn classy. Her expression is composed, her body language at ease. She's sweeping that mass of fucking gorgeous golden wave back from her shoulders and reaching one hand to the back of my barstool, leaning slightly toward me, raising one delicate, perfectly shaped brow at me and shaking her head slightly, like I'm a naughty child.

Mac, Kat, or a Strut girl would go off and make a scene over the obvious  assholisheness of what I said. Drug-addicted Ash would would have fled to the bathroom to fade her feelings about it with a line of crushed oxy. But sober Ash is different. This is the Sunshine Girl I met five years ago, with a new strength and grace. She's spiritually woke in a way that's fucking gorgeous at the same time its crazy intimidating. She's making space for forgiveness before I even ask for it. She's still diggin' the sinner, and overlooking the sin.

She's like a...Madonna. Not that one. You know...the real one.

"I don't suppose it's my luckiest day of the year and you were secretly flattered by any of what you heard?" I give her a sheepish, apologetic grin.

"You want to say all it all again to my face to find out?" she says tolerantly.

I feel my facial muscles contorting, but it's not an expression I would usually give a beautiful woman.

I probably look like the Anxious Face With Sweat emoji.

Thinking back to the things Ashlynn overheard, I suddenly feel ashamed of my attitude. About her. Ashlynn is maybe starting to make my fuck-first-ask-questions-later attitudes feel a little bit...juvenile.

"I couldn't repeat if I tried," I say sincerely. "It was all just a bunch of sexually frustrated bullshit."

She rolls her eyes and tucks her lips back. "Are you telling me you are in a dry spell. Honestly?"

I know what she's getting at. My traitorous sister must have mentioned to her I had a few fangirls recently. I haven't been so much for the fangirls this time around on tour, but the last couple weeks of tour is basically one long wrap party, and it felt like the...the end of more. Like maybe the end of the old hell-raising days, for all of us. Mac and Adam are married and having a kid, Trace is all official with Kat, and Bodie, well, Bodie's in a world of shit...skipping past the honeymoon phase and straight into the toxic Kurt-and-Courtney type of thing.

Not to mention, I'm about to be a father.  That's a whole different head trip.

It's been a strange tour, and I just wanted to finish with some fun. So yeah, I had sex with a few strangers. And maybe it wasn't as much fun as it used to be, but I'm a fucking rock star, goddammit. I have an image to uphold.

Like right now. I can't apologize to Ash for having sex three-and-a-half times in the last month. That would be...weird. It's not like Ash and I are...answerable to each other.