TANTRIC (Book 3 of the Soundcrush Series)

Chapter 67: Hippie Chics Are Heroes

I know you are all waiting on this...it's pretty long, and I've only done a couple of quick read-through edits, so I apologize if there are errors. I figure you'd rather have it now than tomorrow. It's about twice as long as a normal chapter... a lot is happening here. Enjoy!

Ashlynn, one hour ago

Downtown LA is a blur of hazy orange as we make our way to Slade's impressive post-modern home in the hills.

I feel disoriented, but I try hard to focus my breathing and trust in the plan.

Mac's instincts are as sharp as Leed's. Surely she read the situation correctly—that Slade had sped up the timeline for me resuming my contract of submission. She knows what to do. Tamara has promised to carry the go-bag filled with the costuming and the listening equipment continuously, for this exact contingency—staying ahead of Slade's sudden and whimsical maneuvers to keep me off balance and seize control of me.

I should have known Slade would not keep the agreement we made. He agreed to give me this night with Leed. A consolation, a moment in which I make my peace with the new arrangement Slade believes I have accepted: so be his part-time, on-call submissive.

Ironic that it was the reports of my break-up with Leed that finally prompted Slade to contact me again, and bluntly extort my submission with threats against Leed's career. Not only that, he suggested that I could resume my "superficial" relationship with Leed at the same time.

I couldn't understand it at first—why Slade would want me to be his submissive and at the same time, work to get back together with Leed.

I thought Slade would be happy that Leed and I broke up.

He wasn't.

As Slade coolly explained that he found my break-up with Leed, and my fleeing LA, unsatisfactory events because it deprived him of the opportunity to resume our "relationship" on a basis that was convenient to him, I finally understood the depths of Slade's depravity.

His need to dominate me isn't just because I remind him of his mother anymore. If he ever actually wanted me to get sober and healthy—in his mind, fixing what couldn't be healed in his mother—I'm not sure. I am sure, he's now black with hate towards both Leed and I, because I healed without his help, but with Leed's. Because I am happy. Because I am capable of love, but I don't love him. So now, Slade wants to hurt me in the worst way—by making me betray the man I love, over and over again.

He loves the idea of Leed thinking that I'm his, and yet me knowing I belong to Slade. He loves the idea of forcing me to lie, cheat and delude Leed. He delights in the idea that he will "beat" Leed" by compelling me to leave Leed's side and join him in this dirty secret life on command.

He loves this idea so much, that he's actually been quite patient with me as I struggled to accept that he has me backed into a corner. Our first few phone calls ended in me assuring him I would never submit to him again and him assuring me that he understood my current feelings, but he would give me more time to consider.

He gave me a deadline that is one week from today—the date that the Double Impact Tour is set to start. He thought it would be easiest for me to resume my sub training while Leed was on the road, although he assured me I would have "days off" to do with whatever I pleased—including joining Leed on tour. But he also assured me that his deadline is firm. One day past my deadline, I could come crawling on my knees to him, and it wouldn't matter. He would destroy Leed as soon as the Double Impact Tour was done.

"He has a noose around his neck, my dear. You can cut the rope. Or you can let him hang by the neck all summer, not even knowing he's dead yet."

I have done my best not to believe Slade means what he says. In the weeks since Leed broke up with me, I deluded myself into thinking I could put Slade off indefinitely. I pushed his phone calls to the back of my mind, and tried to focus on daily tasks at home with my parents and Cam. I tried to pretend Slade's dirty world was a nightmare that I had woken from. I tried to tell myself that as long as I stayed in Atlanta, and he wasn't confronted by my returned health or by seeing me with Leed, his rage would fade. I convinced myself that Slade is whimsical and unbalanced, and just like he seemed to come to his senses and let me go after he cut me, he would come to his senses again. I told myself Slade was making empty threats, and that there was no way he would sacrifice Colossal's most lucrative act by sabotaging it's front man.