TANTRIC (Book 3 of the Soundcrush Series)

Chapter 60: Hippie Chics Want Revenge

Ashlynn Three Weeks Later

I wake to the once-again familiar sound of Cam breathing in my ear, and the smell of him—soap and spring-time mountains—enveloping me. The barricade of pillows I placed between us while we watched tv last night has somehow been discarded, and Cam's sleeping close. I can feel the warmth radiating from his body.

We've ended up like this a few times—falling asleep watching tv together. I really need to make sure it doesn't happen again, because I can tell from the way he's snuggled up against me that cancer and chemo treatment aside, he's still very much a red-blooded dude with a high libido.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

Cam always wins at everything. He's killed the second round of chemo. Knowing what to expect made all the difference for him, and he put his mind to overcoming the symptoms. He handled his recovery week with not much more than fatigue and a couple of days of nausea that kept him moving slow, but he stayed on his feet this time, instead of the bathroom floor.

And that was a good thing, because I've needed him as much as he's needed me. I've been a mess. I've cried every single day since I left LA.

The morning after I flew home to Atlanta, a courier arrived at my parents' door, with the replacement phone Leed had bought me, two lengthy legal documents and a note from Riley.

Leed would like all necessary final communications regarding press to go through me. Please call once you've had a chance to read over the NDA. Also included is MdM Philanthropies' Sweet Child Of Mine Foundation proposal. Marianne will serve as Chair of the Advisory Board, offering you the one year trial position as Operations Director. Should you accept the position, your board and staff appointments will be subject to MdM Philanthropy approval. Leed will underwrite as he indicated to Laurie Davis. His involvement will be strictly silent and all budgets/operations concerns will be guided by MdM Philanthropies.

Later in the morning, Riley sent a text link to the terse Official Press Statement Marcy released.

Leed Lawson and Ashlynn Ballard wish to respond to repeated reports of a serious relationship between them, and the rumors that Ms. Ballard is pregnant with Mr. Lawson's child. There was never a serious relationship nor pregnancy. Both parties feel their romantic interlude has run its course and are happy to remain friends. Mr. Lawson will be concentrating on his responsibilities as a new father and upcoming Soundcrush activities. He asks that the press respect Ms. Ballard's privacy, as she has no desire to remain a public figure.

Riley sent a second text:

Requests for your privacy will be ignored. Expect aggressive paparazzi. Trace contracted local security for you. Arriving within the hour.

The NDA and the Foundation proposal are still lying on the foyer table in my parent's house. Riley's note and the press statement, I'm carrying those words around with me.

Final communications. Never a serious relationship. Romantic Interlude. Run Its Course. Remain friends.

I didn't believe any of them the first time I read them. They barely scratched the surface of my thick skin. I was sure it was just a maneuver to protect me.

But every day of Leed's silence, the words are writing themselves deeper into my heart—an open wound much more painful than the hateful word that scars my flesh.

At first I cried just because I miss him so much, but every day I fall further into doubt that what we had was even real.

Am I just naive? Did I fall so fast and hard and completely for Leed that I just convinced myself he felt the same? Is he just a player that loves the game? Was I just an unaware friend with benefits all along? Were all those "I love you's" and "always" just reckless declarations from an impulsive creature with a runaway heart way out in front of his reason? Has his better judgment finally caught up with him?