Embraced By The Howling Winds (Antique Series #1)

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

After having my time alone in the rooftop, I decided to return to where they are. I found Papa and Ate Mavis talking to the doctor. Exhaustion was evident in Papa's eyes while hands were trembling.

Pinauwi kami ni Navee dahil sila nalang ang bahalang mag-asikaso ng lahat. Hanggang sa makasakay kami ng sasakyan ay wala kaming kibuan ni Navee. Napasulyap ako sa kaniya, nasa labas ang tingin niya at namumula parin ang mata gaya ng sa akin.

I immediately head to my room and mourn for my mother. Tatlong araw ang lumipas mula ng namatay si Mama. Nagkulong ako sa kwarto at magdamag na umiiyak. Sinadya kong gawing madilim ang buong kwarto. Hindi ko nagawang kumain ng maayos. My meal was being delivered in my room but I don't have the appetite.

To be honest, this is the worst darkest day of life. Sometimes, in some instances, the hardest part isn't letting go but rather learning to start over.

Sa tatlo kaming magkakapatid, ako ang pinakamalapit kay Mama kaya ako ang labis na naapektuhan sa pagkamatay niya. It pained me big time. The memories I made with Mama will forever engraved in my mind, yet her hugs and kisses... I'm longing for it so much.

May mga pagkakataon sa loob ng tatlong araw na iyon, wala akong ginawa kung hindi ang iguhit si Mama sa iba't ibang angulo.

Hindi ko lang talaga matanggap. We're so happy earlier that day!

Napaangat ako ng tingin nang marinig kong bumukas ang pintuan ng kwarto ko. Pumasok si Leigh na mugto ang mata. She immediately hug me but I don't have the energy to hug her back.

Nang kumalas siya ay hinalos niya ang pisngi ko. Tears slowly escaping from her eyes while looking at me, but she wiped it away. She sat on the edge of my bed and stayed silent. Siguro sa isang oras na walang imikan ay hindi na niya natiis na hindi ako kausapin.

"You're not in your usual self..." She started.

I lifted my head, and smiled at her bitterly. "And I don't think I can go back to my usual self, Leigh."

"I'm sorry for you loss, Nach." I can feel the sincerity in her voice and she then hold my hand. "Though you can, Nach. You can go back to your usual self if you wanted to, it's a choice to make."

I shook my head repeatedly and tears began to escape. The pain I'm feeling right now is inconsolable. "How, Leigh Wynea? Why would I go back to my usual self? I don't have the right to be happy after knowing the fact that my mother died because of me! Even if they don't say a thing, I know that they're blaming me for what happened."

"No, please, Nach. Don't blame yourself. It was an accident, no one wanted it to happen, so please, have mercy on yourself." Leigh pleaded and I heard her sobs. "Don't allow your wounds to turn you into a person you are not. You have the right to be happy, and you're innocent!"

"What's the use of living if the person you treasure the most has permanently left this world, Leigh? I'm in pain... almost close to self-destruct. I'm tired. I'm so damn exhausted because everytime I close my eyes to sleep, a scenario of my mother went to accident, is haunting me, and when I wake up, the ambiance of the house reminds me that Mama is finally gone."

Hindi ko namalayan ang pagtulo ng luha ko kung hindi pa pinahiran ni Leigh ang mata ko. She's crying too, but she still choose to wipe my tears.

"If you're tired, you have the option to rest, Nach. If you wanted to give up, what will happen to us who's continuously fighting for you? I understand why you feel this way. We're all tormented because of Tita Estella's death, we couldn't believe as it too sudden and very shocking. But Nach, the war is not over yet."