The Unordinary

The Old Me-67

Fifi's Pov
What time is it? Is Joseph ok? Was it all a dream? What part was a dream and what wasn't?

I look again at the ring to make sure it was real. It was. How did it get here? What day is it?

I can't get back to sleep I need to know if Joseph's ok. Will he be? I don't know. Was what happened to him a dream? Maybe. I hope it was. I hope all of this was a dream.

I sigh to myself and get out of bed. That's when I see myself in my mirror. My hair had gotten into a mess and I was still wearing the clothes I believed I was wearing when I found Joseph, well I wasn't wearing any shoes in bed. Who does that?

It was my favourite top and shorts. I went into the bathroom to look at myself more closely in the bathroom mirror. I lean over the sink lifting myself up to see myself in the mirror. I still see a pair of hazel eyes which are my own staring back at me. My skin is still the pale look it always is. My blonde hair is still at shoulder length.

Nothing drastic about my appearance had changed. Not that I could tell at least.

—Flashback—

They were all giggling. I tried to join in. They immediately stopped and shut me down.
"Fifi no one want to hear your voice." My Ex-Best friend said to me in the curliest way possible.
"Bu-" I try to object but it was futile.
"No." Was all she said putting her hand up in my face.

—End Flashback—

I sigh after a memory of my voice comes back. I splash my face with cold water. I don't want to remember. I don't want to. There's no use. The reason I stopped talking may be gone but it took to long to leave. Now...? Well, I wish I could talk. Forming words is just to difficult for me now. After all these years why did that memory come back?

Sometimes I wish I could go back to the old me. Happy, not a care in the world, a voice...

I sigh at the last request. Most people will say you can choose to speak. I can't not anymore. I head back to my bedroom to look at my floor mirror. My parents once came in when I was looking at myself in it. They thought it was because I was insecure about my appearance. Most teenage girls go through that. That's why they wanted to get rid of it but they didn't. Luckily. That's not why I look in this mirror, but I don't know why I do look in this mirror so intently. I look in it to stare at my eyes most the time. But why? I just stand in front of the mirror questioning everything. These questions have grown with me. The older I get the more questions I have for the world.

I look at myself as I touch my throat. I silently sigh to myself and look at my eyes keeping my hand where it was. I breathe in and out deeply. I keep repeating this exercise. Why I do it? I dunno. Sometimes I wish someone was her to question what I do for me so I don't.

—Flashback—

I'm giggling with my new friend when I hear something behind me.
"HEY!" I recognise that voice anywhere. It's hers. At the sound of her voice, I immediately fall silent. She hates me.
"You shouldn't be with HER." She yells at my friend.
"Why not?" She asks. She's so naive.
"She's trash." I hear her mutter under her breath.
"I'm fine I'll stay here." She raises her eyebrow at my friend's stubbornness to leave my side.

—End Flashback—

Why was the old me so different? I probably should've said something. That was the time I was growing into the person I am now. I wish I could laugh so carefree again.

I turn away from the mirror. From my face. From my eyes. Finding Joseph is the only way to prevent me from going insane. It's the only thing I can use to distract myself from my past.