BORROWED TIME

14

"It's my fault... But I didn't wanted it to happen." she said.

I hugged her so tight and caressed her back to calm her down.

"Shhhhh. It's just a dream, Beatriz."

We stayed in that position for 20 minutes now. Because she is not yet calming down. I can still hear her little sobs and feel her body shaking that made me not to get loose on the hug.

For 20 minutes, she never pushed me away nor tell me to stay away from her and don't touch her.

"I'm sorry." she mumbled.

I shook my head kahit hindi naman niya nakikita.

"Wala kang kasalanan Bea."

Hindi ko man naiintindihan kung ano ang nangyayari pero I think she just needed to hear those words from someone because after that, she slowly calmed down.

Her shoulders slowly rested and her sobs vanished.

That's the time I pulled away from the hug.

And as I look at her face, I immediately wiped the remaining tears in her eyes.

"Believe me Bea, whatever that is, it's not your fault, okay? It's not your fault."

She didn't respond but she rubbed her eyes using the back of her hands. Parang bata.

I never heard her talk but I still see in her eyes that she is still bothered about her dream.

"It's just a dream. So don't cry na. Everything will be fine."

I held her hand but I guess it was a wrong move dahil napatigil siya sa paghikbi ng mumunti at tumingin sa akin. Direct in my eyes specifically.

Napakunot ako ng noo because I couldn't read what's on her mind. Kung naiinis ba siya? Or galit ba siya sa ikinilos ko at paglapit ko sa kanya? Or okay lang ba na kinomfort ko siya? I just really can't read her.

At tinititigan niya lang ako!

She is staring at me for two minutes already and I'm starting to get concious on how do I look. Kung maayos ba ako o mukha na ba akong bruha sa paningin niya.

And just as before I got lost in her eyes, I asked her immediately. "U-uhm, an-ano... G-gusto mo ba ng t-tubig? I'll get you s-some." I looked away and let go of her hand para lumabas ng kwarto niya.

I opened the door at sakto namang paakyat si nanay Tere.

"Nay Tere!" I said.

"Jho! Ano yon? May nangyari ba kay Bea?" napaakyat siya ng mas mabilis.

I shook my head. "Wala naman po." napahinga naman ito ng maluwag.

"Hay salamat naman. Akala ko kasi may nangyari na namang hindi maganda sa batang yon."

"Pwede po bang makahingi ng isang basong tubig? Para lang po kay Bea. Kagigising lang po niya." I said with urgency in my voice kaya di na nagtanong si Nay Tere.

"Sige kukuha ako. Sandali lang." bumaba naman ito agad-agad.

Bumalik naman ako kay Bea na naabutan kong nakatulala lang.

I was honestly surprised that she never shouted at me today. Especially kanina nung niyakap ko siya.

I slowly tapped her shoulder kaya napatingin siya sa akin. Her eyes were still the same. Emotionless and unreadable. And still, those got me intimidated.

"A-ahm, ano... Nagpapakuha ako kqy nay Tere ng tubig. Sandali lang Bea ha." I softly said, still afraid that she might scream in my face at palayasin ako sa kwarto niya.