BORROWED TIME

20

Si Bea.

"Ma'am kailangan niyo na pong uminom ng gamot niyo"

"Sinabi ko na ngang ayaw ko diba?! Bakit ba ang kulit mo?!"

Napatayo ako ng marinig kong may sumisigaw sa labas ng kwarto ko.

"Pero ma'am--"

"When I said no, it's a NO!!!"

I rushed to open the door because I heard Bea shouting.

"Ma'am kailanga--"

"Why can't you fvcking understand the word 'no'?!"

I wiped my face then went straight to Bea's room and I saw her swatting ate Alma's hands away from her.

"Bea! Ate Alma! Anong nangyayari?!"

"Eh doc, kasi kailangan na pong uminom ni ma'am ng gamot."

Nilapitan ko sila dahil baka kung ano pang magawa ni Bea kay Ate Alma.

"Sige na po ma'am. Kailangan niyo po ito. Utos po to ng mga magulang niyo."

Pinipilit ni ate Alma na makalapit kay Bea pero tuloy pa rin sa pag-iwas si Bea.

"Sinabi na ngang ayaw ko diba?!" then Bea suddenly pushed ate Alma na ikinabigla ko.

"Bea?! Bakit mo siya tinulak?! Maid niyo yan!" I interfered.

"Wala kang pakialam!" she shouted at me kaya naitikom ko ang bibig ko.

Kunti na lang talaga at mabibigwasan ko na tong si Beatriz eh. Isa pa talaga!

"M-ma'am, si-sige na po. Ngayon lang p-po." nanginginig na lumapit ulit si ate Alma kay Bea.

So, this is the everyday scenario here. Susubukan nilang pakainin at painom ng gamot si Bea but she'll refuse and react with violence.

"Sinabi nang ayoko nga eh!!" Bea shouted and pushed ate Alma with all her might.

"BEA!!"

Hindi ko na rin napigilan ang sarili kong lumapit sa kanila because ate Alma lost her balance at napahiga na rin siya sa sahig at nabuhos yung tubig at gamot na kanina pa niya dala-dala sa buhat niyang tray.

"Ate ayos ka lang?" I approached ate Alma then helped her get up na basang-basa na ng tubig ang uniform.

"Sige na ate, bumaba ka na at magpalit ka na ng damit." I told her tsaka naman siya tumango at lumabas na ng kwarto ni Bea.

"Tsk! So stupid!!" Bea added. Kaya napalingon ako rito at hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili kong komprontahin siya.

"ANO BA TALAGANG PROBLEMA MO, BEA?! HA?! PATI BA NAMAN MAID NIYO SASAKTAN MO?! HINDI KA BA NAGSASAWANG MANAKIT AT MAGPAHIRAP NG MGA TAONG NAG-AALALA LANG NAMAN SA KALAGAYAN MO?! WALA KA BA TALAGANG PUSO?!"

I don't care if her family might hear me shouting at her. But I am not going to keep silent anymore. Especially if may mga taong nadedehado dahil sa ginagawa niya.

"Napaka-salbahe mo! Hindi mo alam kung gaano nahihirapan ang mga tao sa paligid mo, matulungan ka lang gumaling! You don't know their sacrifices for you to recover from your stupid injuries and yet, you are pushing them away from you when in fact, they are the ones who care for you! Bakit hindi mo ma-appreciate yon?! Bakit hindi mo maintindihan yon?!--"

"DAHIL HINDI MO ALAM ANG PINAGDADAANAN KO!--"

"TANGINA, EDI IPAINTINDI MO!!"

I shouted back at her. "Punong-puno na ako sa pag-iintindi sa buhay mo, sa problema mo, at sa pinagdadaanan mo kahit hindi ko naman talaga alam ang kwento mo!"

She did not respond. She just looked at me at parang hindi makapaniwalang sinisigawan at inaaway ko siya ngayon.

"Have you ever thought kung ilang puyat, ilang pagod, ilang luha ang nasayang ng mga magulang mo para lang makausap at malapitan ka araw-araw?! Naisip mo ba kung gaano sila ka-miserable sa tuwing nakikita kang nahihirapan diyan sa lecheng injuries mo na yan?!" I stood still in front of her and looked directly in her brown eyes.

Wala akong pake kung nilulunod ako ng mga ito. I just wanted to let out all my frustrations and rants about her.

"Hindi! Kasi hindi mo nga sila pinapayagang lumapit sayo eh! Hindi mo alam ku--"

"At wala ka ring alam!!" she butted in.

"YOU don't know how much pain this fvcking accident caused me! You don't know how much I hate this life dahil nabuhay pa rin ako kahit na I already wished not to wake up the next day! You don't know why I am like thi--"

"Pwes, you also don't know how much I have sacrificed to get here!" I angrily told her.

"Sino ba kasing may sabing pumunta ka dito ha?!" she answered back and her tears started to flow on her cheeks now.

"Sinabi ko rin bang gusto kong magpunta dito?! Ha, Bea?! If it wasn't because of your family's desire to bring you back to normal, hindi naman ako pupunta dito eh!"

And my tears also started to flow as I remember how Nico and I argued about this offer. I cried more as I remembered kung paano kami nag-away kanina.

"You don't know it, Bea... H-hindi m-mo alam k-kung anong m-mga bagay ang isinakripisyo ko pa-para lang pumunta dit-dito at tuparin ang kagustuhan ng mga magulang mo para mapagaling k-ka! H-hindi mo alam ku-kung gaano kasak-it sa akin na malayo sa pamilya ko, sa mga kaibigan ko, sa taong mahal ko! Para la-lang matulungan ka sa lintek na injuries na yan!" I said while holding back more tears that are about to come out in my eyes.

"H-hindi mo alam kung gaano ko ipinaglaban tong offer na trabaho sa akin ng ospital na pinagta-trabahuan ko against my family and my boyfriend even if they are saying that there is only a little chance for you to recover from your injuries! Pero bakit ganon lang kadali sayong palayuin lahat ng nagmamalasakit sayo Bea?! BAKIT?!"

Then I broke down in front of her. I held my face and wipe the tears away kahit na patuloy pa rin ako sa pagluha.

The atmosphere went quiet as the only sound we can hear are our sobs.

"H-hindi ko na al-alam ang gagawin ko, Bea. I already did my best to help you, pero mukhang ayaw mo talagang magpatulong." I said as I was started to calm down.

"Kung ganito lang rin pala ang kahihinatnan ng pagpunta ko rito, mas mabuti na ngang umuwi na lang ako." madiin kong sabi rito.

"That's right. Umalis ka na at talikuran mo na rin ako. Gaya ng ginawa sakin ng lahat ng taong kakilala ko." she said without looking at me.

I can see that her eyes are already glossy and red.

I nodded even if she did not see it.

"Mabuti pa nga. Dahil hindi ko kayang magsakripisyo ng ganito kabigat para lang sa taong hindi kayang tulungan ang sarili niya." sabi ko pero hindi pa rin ito tumitingin sa akin.

"Goodbye Bea. I hope you'll be happy once I leave your house. And your life." that's the last words I said before I turned my back and went out of her room.

"Jho." I was surprised when I saw kuya Loel, Tita Det and Tito Elmer leaning their backs against the wall outside Bea's room.

"Jho, iha. A-anong na-nangyari?"

It was tita Det who first approached me with full of concern.

Napa-iling naman ako sabay punas ng mga luha ko at ngumiti ng peke.

"Tita, Tito, kuya Loel, I'm packing my things."

Magsasalita na sana si kuya Loel pero inunahan ko na siya.

"I'm leaving."

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