BORROWED TIME

45

J H O A N A

"We fought last night. He is forcing me to quit this job and go back home as soon as possible."

I wiped my tears using the back of my hand. Nakakahiya na umiiyak ako sa harapan ni Bea.

"I refused to do so. Pero he got angry tapos don na rin kami nag-away. I don't understand him. Napag-usapan naman na namin to dati na hindi ako uuwi hangga't hindi ka pa nakaka-recover. He agreed to that. And now he's repeating it. Nadamay pa ang pamilya ko. Lalo na si papa. He used my father para maawa ako at umuwi. I just don't get him."

She just looked at me and I can't read her mind.

"Kaya.. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I tried to hurry your recovery. If I was so much irritated this past few days. I'm sorry if I said those words that you don't deserve to hear. Sorry, Bea."

I told her sincerely pero yung poker face niya, hindi man lang nagbago.

Babalik na ba siya sa pagiging masungit sa akin?

"It's okay. No problem." she plainly said.

Then silence filled the air as I felt my tears subsiding.

"I just want to ask one question, Jhoana." she seriously said kaya nakaramdam ako ng kaba.

"A-ano yun?" napalunok ako ng wala sa oras.

"Sino si Nico?"

Napa-tigil ako sa pagda-drama.

Oo nga pala.

Hindi niya nga pala kilala si Nico. 😑

"A-ahh... He's my b-boyfriend." I told her in which she just responded with a nod.

"I see. I guess he's already mad that you are staying too long here."

Hindi na ako naka-imik dahil totoo naman talaga.

"You know what, Jhoana. If I were him, I guess I'll also tell you to go home. It's so painful to see the one you love beg for you to comeback. It's... It's a devastating feeling, Jhoana. That you won't able to feel, unless you're the one being in that situation..."

I fell silent and just stared at her who is looking at the window of the room.

"It's so painful. When you already did everything just to make them stay and not leave you like they promised before. When they finally made a decision to stay away from you..."

"Alam mo Jhoana, kung ako siya, gagawin ko rin kung anong ginagawa niya ngayon. He just want to keep you by his side. He doesn't want to lose someone he knows that has created a big place in his heart. He is afraid that when you leave, there's a chance for you never coming back. And he doesn't want to make that kind of mistake. "

She looked at me and smiled sadly.

"Kasi ako? I made that mistake, Jhoana. When Kianna decided to leave me and walked away from me, nagkamali ako nung hinayaan ko na lang siyang tuluyang lumayo sa akin at hindi ko na siya ginawang habulin."

Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko. Sadness was really evident in her voice and in her eyes.

"But I'm not him eh. So I'm going to tell you, don't leave yet because I'm not yet fine, Jhoana. I'm not begging you to stay here. I am demanding you to stay here until I'll be able to walk on my own." she said with a smirk on her face.