BORROWED TIME

32

"Anak naman, what went into your mind and you pushed yourself to go straight in their house? You have hangover."

My mom is extremely concern with me when I went home looking lost.

"Mom. I just wanted to see Jia. She's my bestfriend. Masama na ba yon ngayon? I don't believe that she's gone-"

"And when you went in their house? You saw she's lying on a coffin and then what did you do? You made a scandal in front of all of her relatives? Beatriz! We didn't raised you to be nasty and disrespectful to someone's burial."

I looked at my dad unbelievingly.

"Wow dad. I couldn't believe you still think of our family's reputation than my pain of losing my bestfriend!"

"What? Beatriz this isn't about our family's reputation. This is all about you, barging into someone's burial without their consent and making a shameful scene."

"Edi lumabas na rin ang totoo! Kayo na mismong nagsabi that I barged into someone's burial at nag-iskandalo at gumawa ng kahihiyan. Dad you don't care about my feelings. You care about your reputation!"

"Beatriz! Don't talk to your dad in that way!"

"No, mom! Kasi totoo naman eh! If dad really cares for me, he wouldn't think that I am just gate crashing Jia's burial because Jia is my bestfriend!!"

My dad shut up. And so my mom.

"You never cared on what is happening and what I am doing in my life, dad. You just care about how my way of life will affect our family's image in the public. You never cared. From the very start. Kasi sa tingin mo, walang patutunguhan yung gusto kong gawin sa buhay kaya ikaw na yung kumukontrol sa buhay k--"

"Shut up!" I touched my cheek that he slapped.

"Elmer!! Don't you dare hurt my daughter!" my mom hugged me immediately as she tried to push dad away from us.

"I'm sorry... Anak hindi ko sinasadya..."

"No dad. It's fine." I said bravely as I stood straight looked at him directly.

"Kasi even if you slap me thousand times more, it won't equate the pain of losing my bestfriend and the pain of being blamed on her lost."

A tear escaped my eye so I wiped it harshly and went upstairs without looking back at my parents.

I locked my door and leaned on it as I started to cry once more.

"Jia... I'm s-sorry... H-hindi ko sinasadya... Please... Please bumalik ka na... Sorry... Sorry... I love you. Please come back. I'm sorry... Hindi ko sinasadya..."

I repeatedly said as I hugged my knees and cried my heart out even if I feel collapsing.

I cried and blamed myself from what happened. Because I know I was the reason. Na tama si Miguel. Ako dapat ang sisihin kasi kung hindi ko tinawagan si Jia last night, she won't go rushing in and she won't die.

They're right. It was all my fault. I killed her. I killed my bestfriend.

I cried until my eyes swell from a non-stop crying. I cried until I felt my eyes becoming heavy.

I promise I'm going to take you home.

Was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Arghh." I groaned in pain as I started to wake up.

I realized that I am still leaning on my room's door. I stood up and stretched my arms as I saw my phone's screen lit and grabbed it from my bedside table.