BORROWED TIME

58

"Are they your friends?"

Bea suddenly closed her laptop then she looked at me.

"Why are you peeking at what I am doing?" she raised her eyebrow.

"Hindi ah. Napadaan lang ako sa likuran mo and I accidentally saw what's on the screen."

"But you asked me about them."

"Okay..." I said as I sat at the sofa beside her. "So friends mo nga yung mga yun?" I used my lips to point her laptop.

I saw her held her laptop tightly and slowly nodded her head.

"Have you ever tried to reach out for them ever since you arrived in the states?"

She shook her head. Mukhang ayaw niyang magsalita.

"Why are you just stalking them? Why don't you just message all of them?"

"Because it's not as easy as what you think." she put down her laptop in the table and looked at me.

"Nobody, aside from Jia knows me really well. Now, when she died, nobody from them tried to figure out how much pain I am experiencing. I shooed them away once, and they never tried to go back."

"Because that is what you wanted."

"Because that, is what they thought I really wanted." pagsasalungat niya sa sinabi ko.

"Eh what did you want ba? Ha?"

"Aside from not feeling guilty about Jia's death, I wanted them to defend me against all the criticism and blames other people have put on me... Pero wala. Ni isa. Aside from Thirdy, nobody in my huge group of friends defended me. Yes, they say that they believe in me... But they just said that just to console me. Pampa-lubag loob kumbaga. And I didn't benefited with that. In fact, it made my situation even worse."

"Are you mad at them?"

"No?"

"Bakit patanong?"

"I just... I just don't know what I am feeling towards them...right now." She shrugged her shoulder lifelessly.

"Do you miss them?" Naging question and answer portion na tong eksena namin.

"I do."

Lumipat ako at tinabihan siya.

"Then why don't you contact them?"

"Should I?" Then she looked at me.

"You should." I messed her hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

B E A T R I Z

"Okay, there you go. Be ready Beatriz."

Jho said then clicked the 'video call' sign sa messenger.

Nag-ring naman ito and that made me feel uneasy.

"Jho, I'm scared." I held her arm but she just held my hand.

"Don't be. Parang tatawagan mo lang sila eh. There's nothing to be afraid of. Okay?"

Then we heard someone from the screen.

"B-Bea?..."

It was Maki who first answered the call. I saw how shocked she is seeing me calling her and our other friends.