Miss Lestrange ➝ Oliver Wood x OC (Harry Potter)

feeling grey.

thirty three.

Hufflepuff vs Gryffindor. If it wasn't for Draco's over exaggerated injury I'd be playing, but as tensions were high amongst the students but for me, I didn't quite feel in the Quidditch mood. I was thankful not to playing for the first time in a long time. What, with the stress of examinations, endless homework and my newly found difficulty with using my powers I didn't want to watch Quidditch. I didn't want to be around anyone.

The rain poured from the grey clouds above, thunder cracking against the cold skies. I sat in the library, my usual hiding spot as of late nestled in between two large bookshelves. I decided to write some letters as the previous attempt had been unsuccessfully completed with the thought of Oliver and worries for Remus.

I wrote to Theo. I had been feeling a little guilty recently. I had missed him of course, but my thoughts often seem to drift off to other boys, especially Oliver, and I wondered whether it made me a bad person.

Dear Theo,

I hope America is treating you well? Hogwarts is most definitely not the same without you. It's much colder. I miss you. I know Alex misses you too. I feel a little empty without you here, and I also feel guilty because it doesn't feel right moving on so quickly and I feel like my attention has been anywhere but on you. I guess I just tried to avoid thinking about you because it upset me.

I've been struggling a lot recently. I don't feel well in myself. I feel like I am losing a sense of who I am. Everyone seems to notice it too, I think. They're all so worried. I think after everything going on these past couple years, and now with the rise of Sirius and the possible escape of my mother, I am going through a little identity crisis. Exam stress certainly doesn't help. And Draco got hurt! And Flora and Katie have just been ridiculously awful to me too. I'm starting to think something else is happening that I'm unaware of. I feel as though I'm watched or targeted.

Sorry for complaining so much. I just feel like everything has changed. Me too. I'm not sure if that's for the best or not. I feel a little more peaceful I suppose, less aggressive. I think I have you to thank for that. Maybe I'm maturing? A little. Or maybe I'm just hurting. Probably.

This letter is a little morbid now I'm thinking about it. I guess I just feel like I can tell you things and it definitely helps to write it all out. I don't want to worry anyone either so I am conflicted in opening up to them. Don't you worry either though, Alex and Remus are a huge help this year. I even have a new friend so not all things are bad.

Anyway, I hope you're taking care of yourself! Come visit soon, please? It would do us all good I think.

Love,

Lucia x

I fiddled with the zebra bracelet I still sported around my wrist. I know it would be hard to continue our relationship romantically with the distance but I missed Theo. He was my friend before my boyfriend and I would always want that bond to stay.

"Lu?" The familiar accent tore me out of my thoughts, "Are you alright?"

"Oliver?" I asked, "What are doing here? Shouldn't you be on the pitch?"

His hair was wet and stuck to his forehead, his face pale behind an excess of mud and dirt, his cheeks rosy and eyes sparkling. He was still sporting his Quidditch outfit and looked the most handsome I had ever seen him before.

"Game got cancelled. The dementors invaded the pitch, sent wee Harry hurling to the ground. Was lucky no one got seriously hurt." Oliver explained as he came to join me amongst the books. He sat next to me on the ground.

"Is he okay?" Lucia asked worried.

"He's fine. Nothin Madam Pomfrey can't mend. It was scary though." Oliver said, "His brooms ruined though. Poor kid."

I sighed in relief and then started, "Why are you here?" I asked suspiciously. 

"Well," He sighed, "Truthfully, I was looking for you in the crowd. All the Slytherin's came out to gloat about Cedric. But you weren't there, and, you never miss a game."

"You were looking for me?" I smirked.

"Only to...tease. Y'know we're beatin' Slytherin for sure this year." He joked, getting quiet after a few laughs, the stress and determination at finally being able to win the Quidditch cup written all over his face.

"How did you know I was here?"

"You're always here," He smiled, "I was worried about you."

"Worried about me?" I laughed, "You have nothing to be worried about, I just didn't really feel up to standing in the cold."

I watched as Oliver slowly reached over closer to me, playing with the little white strand of my hair that had started to peak through unwantedly, "Yeah, you're fine." Sarcasm ran through his voice strongly, "You definitely are not okay. I've spoken to Alex, he's worried about you too."

"Bit close for comfort Ol," I shooed him with a laugh, collecting my notes and revision books. I wondered in what context Alex and Oliver had spoken but shrugged it off. "I-I don't know what's wrong with me. I think maybe I'm just stressed." I said with a sigh.

"Well, if you're stressed with exams I can always help you study? We are Potions partners after all yano?" Oliver said.

I had planned to revise in the Common Room after spotting Flora make her way into the Library, I didn't want to be at the end of her scrutiny today. I lifted the pile of books but my arms weak and wobbly had other plans.

Oliver made a dive to help keep my arms steady, his hands brushing against my own.

"Just exam stress ay?" Oliver asked with a sad smile, "You don't have to talk to me about it. But don't make yourself sick. People care about you wether you want them to or not...whatever it is you're going through, you don't have to do it alone you know?"

I wanted to tell Oliver that I was scared. Scared and tired and broken. I wanted to cry and hug him and tell him everything that was on my mind. Tell him how I felt about my mother, about Flora and Katie, about the dog, but I could feel eyes on me, the burning feeling of hatred carving its way into the back of my mind. Flora was looking at me so harshly I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Oliver noticed I was quiet. "Come on, I'll walk you to the Great Hall, Alex is lookin' for ye." I just nodded and let him take my books.

If I wasnt feeling the way I was right now I would be over the moon with Oliver. I'd be all giddy on the inside but I wasn't. I felt like death. 

~

"Ahhh, theres my sleepy little princess." Alex said as Oliver threw down my huge pile of books onto the wooden planks of the Slytherin table, "Y'alright?"

I was silent for a little while as I took my seat next to him. I opened my mouth and I felt like words weren't coming out. I just couldn't stand to see my friends worry. And so I did what I always did, spurred on by the looks Flora sent me as she entered the Great Hall from behind Oliver, and lied to my friends.

"I'm okay." I said again, every lie a sting to my side, "I'm just stressed."

"Well, I did say I can help in that area," Oliver persisted, looking curiously through the collection of books I was studying, "The Christmas Hogsmeade trip is coming up soon, so why don't you take a break from all your work and enjoy yourself for the holidays, and then afterwards we can work on studying?"

"I agree, you need a break," Alex said, "You look so pale Peeves thought you'd died and became a ghost this morning."

"Oh pack it in." I laughed tiredly at Alex, "Fine. No more work."

"Promise?" Oliver asked.

"Promise." I smiled.