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December 12th
I always thought our relationship would be perfect if we didn't cheat. I was wrong. He didn't cheat on me but to an extent he was disloyal. He refused to be honest with me about certain things and I accepted it because I love him. Wrong move of course.
When I woke up I thought of him, when I went to sleep I dreamed about him. He occupied most of my thoughts and I hated that I loved it. It's not healthy but god if we broke up I'd never be in love the way I am now.
It's 1 AM and I've been laying in his bed for 30 minutes, waiting for him to get out of the shower. I want him to kiss me and look at me the way he usually does. It's the first time we've interacted since the other day and we've barely spoken.
It was dark and cold until I felt his warm body touch mine as the bed sunk in. His face went in my neck and I remained quiet.
"I love you, everything is fine." Tay pulled me close to him and I cried. I don't know why but I did. Maybe it was just a lot going on and I wasn't adapting to change fast enough. He was always busy and I needed him sometimes.
"I love you too." I turned around to face him, noticing his fresh hair cut covered by his hair in his face.
His curls didn't look as tight as they used to when his hair was shorter. If you were a hair geek you'd say it was 3b and ashy black.
"I thought you'd disappear for a few weeks." I whispered.
"Why would I do that?"
"I don't know. When you get overwhelmed you take flight and disappear for days, this was more serious so I figured you'd be gone for a long time." I felt him slide his hand up my shirt and rub my stomach like he always did.
"I'm sorry for making you think that's okay. I know it's not, which is why I didn't do that this time." Tay just apologized knowing it was definitely something he'd do.
He ran away from his problems more often than not. Mainly because he wasn't good with confronting his feelings and talking about your baby dying was an uncomfortable subject. Neither of them wanted to address it so they didn't.
They weren't ready for a baby but it was still wild. The fact that she didn't tell him kind of pissed him off but he also considered the fact that she did it to keep him happy. He didn't like that.
"I did it because I thought I could just act like it didn't happen but it hurt my feelings. And I'm sorry that I hurt yours." She felt herself tear up and he just kissed her cheek.
Intimacy didn't always mean sex.
"I'm okay. It's okay. Appreciate not being pregnant because I'm trapping you when I get right." He said seriously, making her slap his chest. They laughed and ignored the last part.
