Promises🤞🏻 [Jaegan]

|Chapter 22|

JUSTINS POV:

"please ant." i beg as i sit against his bedroom door. i want to explain, i need to explain everything to him.

"i said leave me alone justin." i hear faintly from the other side. i sigh, finally getting up after five minutes and simply walking back downstairs. raegan is sitting on the couch.

"he won't let me in." i tell him and he looks down, rubbing his eyes.

"fuck. i'm so stupid." he says and i walk over to him, sitting down on the couch

"no. you're not." i say and he looks up at me. he just nods his head.

"i didn't mean anything i said before. i was just..mad i guess." he tells me, playing with his ring lightly.

"i know." i nod.

"i'm sorry." he puts his hand on my cheek, rubbing it with his thumb. my stomach goes crazy.

"it's okay." i take his hand and put it down onto his lap. "why were you mad?" i ask.

"i don't want to lose you in my life. i care about you and i really shouldn't be saying this while my boyfriend is upstairs upset, or ex boyfriend. whatever but.." he gets closer to me and stares into my eyes. he takes my hand into his, setting our hands on my lap.

"i like you a lot." he glances down at my lips. "i can't help it." he whispers.

"i-..i like you a lot too." i admit, feeling the guilt whip back in my face immediately. he leans in a bit and our lips are about to touch. no, i can't.

"but we can't." i say as i feel our lips brush over each lap others lightly. he backs away, knowing i'm right. it's silent for a moment.

"i think you should go. we need to stay away from each other if we want anthony to forgive you. or for him to even take you back-"

"i don't want him back." he interrupts me, shaking his head. "i want you."

"you can't have me raegan." i say clearly to him. "i cant..we can't do that to anthony. he loves you. we already screwed up. we aren't meant for each other." i continue and i see his face totally drop.

"if you believe that, go ahead. but i don't. i promise i'll always be there for you. i like you so much." he says. another promise. i already don't believe two.

"we need to get things fixed with anthony. we can't focus on this." i shake my head, feeling slight tears in my eyes.

"fine." he says, standing up and walking past the couch.

"don't be mad rae-"

"i'm not mad. i just wish anthony wasn't in the picture right now." he tells me but i stop him before he walks out of the house.

"how could you say that?" i ask and he freezes.

"i told you i want you. i don't want anyone in my way." he walks out of the house after those words. it's like he doesn't care about anthony anymore. does he really like me that much that he doesn't care about anthony right now.

i let it go and decide to go back upstairs. i walk up to his bedroom door again. 

"i'm so so sorry." i say, but no answer. "i'm in my room if you need me." i finish off with and then go into my room.

i'm a horrible best friend. that's just it. how could i let myself do this to anthony? he took me into his home. we are like family now. this is how i repay him..? kissing and almost sleeping with his boyfriend.

"justin." my door opens quickly and anthony stands right in my doorway. he looks at me, tear stained and red face.

"ant." i swallow, getting up off my bed. "i am so sorry. i feel terrible. i never wanted to hurt you." i explain to him. he doesn't say anything or move for a few seconds.

"do you like raegan?" he asks me and i freeze. i don't want to lie. but i don't want to tell him the truth.

"i.." i swallow hard. "i don't know." i spit out and he just stares at me. his stare is making me almost shake.

"thanks justin." he says and leaves, and i hear him going downstairs. i seem to snap back into what's happening and follow quickly.

"anthony wait. please." he stops after i say that, but he doesn't turn around. "im sorry-"

"stop apologizing." he says turning around to face me. "how could you possibly let yourself fall for my boyfriend?"

"i don't know if i do. i wouldn't do that to you, anyway." i say and i regret it right afterwards. i worded it horribly.

"do what?" he asks, confused.

"ya know, like him or.." i trail off and i can see tears form more in his eyes now.

"does he like you?" he asks furrowing his eyebrows and giving me that intense stare again. that shit makes me so nervous.

"ant i don't know, okay? everything is a mess right now. i'm sorry we kissed, i'm sorry you saw. i'm sorry for everything. i love you, you're my best friend." i explain to him. i can't lose him, i just can't. we live together. we've always been the best of friends.

"i never thought i'd ever have to see that. i didn't think it ever would. you know, considering you're my best friend and you kissed my damn boyfriend." he shakes his head at me.

"no no-"

"save it justin." he walks away from me, cutting me off. shit. i screwed so much up. what else can go wrong right now?

of course. raegan does like me. and i like him. i don't want to. i wish i didn't. but i do. and he's acting like he cares about me more than ant. what do i do?

i'm starting school soon but i'll still try to update as much as possible. comment and vote, please and thank you ❤️