Trainwreck |✔️

CHAPTER 21

Happy Friday!!! 🥳🥳
Ant's POV

It was situations like that one where I wish I'd been smarter... where I wish I could figure out a clever and elaborate plan to help Mr Donnelly escape and ensure the safety of my Mam and sister all at the same time without anyone being any the wiser to my involvement. 

But I had nothing.

I wish I had told Dec's Dad about Simons plan... before he had kidnapped and forced me. But those bad choices were irreversible, they were the choice's that lead up to this day and would haunt me for the rest of my life.

I tried my best not to let my gaze wonder to Mr Donnelly, who was tied to the chair in front of me in the middle of the room. I was placed on guard duty. He hadn't stopped studying me and it was seriously putting me on edge. I already knew what he thought of me and looking at him was a constant reminder of the terrible things I'd done and I couldn't face that. I kept my eyes pinned firmly on the ground.

"So you can't even look at me?" I winced at the bite in his tone. I stayed silent and hoped he wouldn't press any further.

"Tell me Anthony, was this the plan all along? Or did I really treat you so badly that you felt the need to sell me out?" I still didn't react, the guilt was too much, I was near tears. "LOOK AT ME!" I shook in fear at his furious tone and brought my eyes up to meet his.

"That's better. So you've been planning this all along? You dated my son just to get to me? That's low Ant... even for someone in Simon's Gang."

"I swear It's not like that." I said lowly, not wanting to attract any unwanted attention with our conversation. "I love Declan."

"And yet you used him? Sorry if I'm doubting your love at this moment." He was so cool and relaxed, from the amount I was sweating and nauseous, It looked like I was the one being held captive.

I guess, in a twisted way, I was.

"I meant what I said before Ant. This will break him... and I'll be the one picking up the pieces." There was a first show of vulnerability on his part. "he isn't going to be dragged into this anymore than he has is he?"

"No... I promise... I have a deal with Simon. Dec won't get hurt..." my head dropped down in shame. "Anymore."

He nodded his head and we stayed in an uncomfortable silence once again. My betrayal hanging in the air like a bad smell.

"I'm disappointed in you Ant. I honestly thought you were better than this." I watched sorrowfully as a tear fell from my eye and crashed down to the floor below.

"I am so sorry."

"I doubt this will ever be forgiven especially not by Declan but I know you're just a solider. A tool for Simon to use as he please's." His eyes and voice are softer now and I found myself clinging desperately to every word even though they were a knife in my heart, a stab of reality.

"And I know you didn't get a good start in life... but why didn't you tell me? I know you are a good person... I could have helped... now if you make it out of this you'll be facing at least 5 years in prison."

"I fucking know that alright." I growled, fed up of him summing up the whole shitty situation. "It's not as easy as it sounds getting out of shit like this. I will always owe Simon something because he raised me in the darkest time of my life! I know he's not a saint but he was all I had! The only person I could rely on just wanted to use me and I knew that from the start. Now I'm stuck under his rule... if I refuse he uses what I love against me." My anger was bubbling up inside of me and it felt good to let it all out. "I never intended to care so much. Before I met Dec my one concern was getting enough food on the table and being able to protect my little sister. Don't go thinking I'm a better person than I am because I'm not. Before I met him I would have done this all without a moments hesitation or an ounce of remorse."