Trainwreck |✔️

CHAPTER 44

Dec POV

It was 3 o'clock in the morning and I can't really say I'd woken up because I hadn't been asleep. I couldn't sleep, I felt awful.

At first I'd been angry. I felt betrayed almost, for some reason with Ant I thought I was safe, like no matter how bad he got i had an invisible forcefield around me. I felt stupid more then anything, stupid for thinking Ant could have that kind of control; stupid for thinking his abuse involved just the beatings he'd told me about... it was Ant;  of course there would be more. His childhood had been torture, and I believed if we ignored it, he could move on. I'd been so selfish.

As I sat up against the head board, legs crossed beneath me, knowing Ant was downstairs probably beating himself up all I felt was guilt. I wasn't the one hurting, sure my cheek stung but it would heal. Ant was scarred, sensitive to these kind of things and I had told him to sleep on the sofa.

My eyes shot up to the door as it creaked open ever so slightly. My heart dropped when a particular, tall, handsome, brunette didn't enter the room. I shifted to look over the edge of the bed and saw rocky sniffing around, his little tail wagging behind him. He looked up at me and stood on his hind legs, paws on the end of the duvet so he could look up at me. The bed was top tall for Rockys little legs to jump up so I shuffled over and picked him up carefully.

I smiled as he wriggled around on my lap while trying to reach up and lick my face. I giggled a little, letting him place a big affectionate kiss on my bruised cheek.

I kissed his head and cuddled him close.  I needed that, but it left me craving more. It left me craving a pair of strong arms wrapped around my middle and loving kisses on my skin. I felt a tear roll down my cheek so I rested my head against Rockys soft fur.

I felt so lonely, not having Ant with me became painful, like something had been torn from me, like I'd lost a limb. I belonged in his arms and all I needed to be complete was for him to hold me. A lump formed in my throat, I couldn't be without him any more, I know it had been less then 5 hours but it hurt not to have him next to me.

I sniffed when the little pup in my arms grew restless and broke free from my hold. He waddled to Ants side of the bed and sniffed at the cold sheets. Rockys tail and ears dropped sadly before he turned and looked up at me with big brown eyes.  He let out a soft whine before hopping up onto the taller man's pillow and stomping his little paws on it lightly.

I smiled and wiped at my tears before reaching into the bedside table to my phone...

Me: Anth?

There was barely a moments wait before the phone buzzed signalling a reply.

Anth😘 : Dec? What's wrong? Are you okay?

My heart fluttered in my chest and a big smile spread across my face, always looking after me, he is.

Me: You awake?

Anth😘: Must be if I'm texting you 😉

I rolled my eyes but I already felt better, he always knew how to make me feel better.

Anth😘: Are you awake?

A small laugh escaped my lips, silly billy.