Trainwreck |✔️

CHAPTER 25

Ants photo of Dec^^^

I've just realised there is a bit of a theme with my books with Ant going to prison... that's unintentional I swear ☺️😂

Ants POV

Shakily, my fingers reached out to touch him, to caress his face, and stroke his silky, soft, sandy, brown hair. I snatched my hand away, knowing I'd lost that right a long time ago. His happy face stared back at me, eyes never closing and smile never fading.

Sometimes I could still imagine it... kissing him, the way his lips had danced on mine, the way his heat seeped through my clothes when he pulled me closer. When I laid awake sometimes I could even feel his touch, but as the days turned into months and the months turned into years, I found myself struggling to remember the little detail's of his features when he laughed, let alone the hypnotic sound.

All I could remember was his eyes, beautiful blue green eyes that could light up the darkest of rooms. They'd haunt me in my dreams, but pull me from my nightmares, remind me what I lost.... what I could have had.

3 years, 11 months and 15 days. That's how long I'd been there. I guess I'd gotten used to it, the routine: wake up at 5:45 for a shower; make the bed; have an almost inedible breakfast at 7; play footie in the yard; have an over cooked lunch; do the prison laundry; have a weird-ass stew for dinner; sit in my cell through social time and then at 11:00 lie in bed until I'm too exhausted to stay awake.

That had been my life. I didn't have any visitors, Mr Donnelly came every now and then to check up on me but the visits were few and far between. It's not his fault though... he was busy.

The first few weeks had been rough... I was young and 'pretty'. People learnt not to fuck with me though so I was allowed to keep to myself quite contently. The other inmates knew who I used to work for so I had some respect there from the get go.

I was nearing my parole hearing. Although to be honest I wasn't sure I wanted parole... I'd been incarcerated for so long that leaving seemed like a scary prospect, especially because no one was waiting for me on the outside. Out there I had nothing, no money, no house, no job and no one in their right mind who would employ me. I'd be on the streets until I managed to locate my mam. If she was still alive. The last time Mr Donnelly came he assured me she and Sarha were alright... that was 9 months ago.

Dec never visited. I never saw him after he walked out of the court room that day. I don't know where he went when he left, whether he did go straight to Ireland but I'm guessing it was on the first train going as far away from me as he could get.

Whenever I'd asked about Dec, Mr Donnelly's answer was always the same, we don't hear much from him these days but he's doing well for himself. I didn't press any further than that, it was none of my business.

"LIGHTS OUT!!" The sharp industrial prison lights switched off in the cell block, plunging us all into darkness. I rubbed a tired hand through my hair before turning my gaze up to the timid light of the moon that filtered through the steel bars on my window. I'd accepted it long ago that behind bars was where I belonged but that didn't mean I didn't long to be underneath the stars again, to be a free man.

Sliding into my uncomfortable mattress and pinning the old worn photograph up on the wall beside me. I closed my eyes, letting the little sleep I could get over come me.

Ants POV whilst he dreams. (Dunno why I wrote it in present tense but just pretend you're in the dream lol)

I recognise where I am, it's Dec's house, exactly how it was when we first met. The dark haired boy that stood before me I recognise too... it's me. A very young me, about 16 or 17.