Falling [SOLBY ONESHOTS]

In His Hands

WARNING: suicide attempt, self-harm, mental health issues, language

Word Count: 4,214

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There was so much pain inside of Sam's head, like he was about to exploded. It thumped and ached and screamed inside of him, choking him till he couldn't breathe and cry anymore. He so desperately craved release from the feeling. So, Sam crawled out of his bed where he had been blasting music loudly into his ears and went into the bathroom he shared with his best friend, Colby Brock. His hands moved blindly in the drawers beside the sink basin, searching for the one thing that could give him such a release. Sam found it quickly, his fingertips slipping around the slim handle of the object, grasping it and pulling it from its hidden spot in the drawer.

How ironic, Sam thought to himself, that it should be Colby's razor?

The blonde looked at himself in the mirror holding the blades and stared at his own eyes. It had all started a couple months ago. The feelings grew in Sam's chest toward his best friend of seven years, but Sam never could bring himself to say those three words to Colby. Sam knew this would happen eventually between the pair of them. It was evitable that one of them was going to fall for the other. Sam had only wished that it was Colby first. Colby was always so much more braver when it came to these sort of feelings that Sam ever would be.

But, it wasn't just a matter of bravery for Sam. He could admit his feelings to the brunette if only Sam knew what Colby felt towards him. All those times when Colby gave him glances or said certain things and Sam still had no clue about Colby's feelings. Because, there were those other times that made Sam second guess everything. Like, Colby not always standing beside him or Colby making suggestive sentences and glances towards fellow YouTuber Brennan Taylor or Colby coming out of his room after a late night partying with some tramp behind him that only stuck around for a few days.

That was when Sam began to overthink about everything and ache for a love that he could never have. Constantly, the brunette was on his mind till Sam felt like he was practically going insane on the thought of the other male. He couldn't find happiness in anything he did anymore, especially when Colby was not with him. Those late night 3 AM Challenges killed him in more ways than ever (as they also resulted in paranormal attachments that were dragging at the inside of Sam's mind too). But, the biggest of his ache was a simple fact, a truth to only Sam: Colby could and would never love him back the way Sam loved him.

The blonde was crying and he gave a small hiccup, quickly pulled the razor apart from its cheap plastic casing. The pieces clattered into the sink. Sam picked up one of the silver blades that had fallen, holding it between his fingers, and placed it against his skin. He couldn't look at himself as he committed the act, so Sam stared at himself in the mirror instead. Looking at his own blue eyes, Sam wished that they were the same shade as Colby's-- that deep blue like the purest sapphires. As his mind twisted the reflection before him into something that looked like Colby Brock, Sam pulled the silver blade across his wrist.

He was cutting so deep and tears began to flow from his eyes as pain prickled.

The apparition of Colby disappeared in the mirror.

Sam raised his hand above the opening he created and pulled the blade again across his skin.

A painful scream echoed across the bathroom walls and down the empty hallway, making its way down the stairs to the first floor.

Colby snapped his head up from his phone and looked up at the staircase, thinking he perhaps had heard Sam scream or maybe it was Aaron yelling at his Fortnite game. But, the noise definitely sounded like Sam. He stared at the staircase, body tense as he waited for another sound.