girl crush [ idols x idol!oc ]

girl crush [ nineteen ]

"where were you last night?" asked minsoo unnie, making me stop in my tracks. we were in the practice room, doing some final practice before our comeback tomorrow.

i gripped my phone, and then smiled at her. the other members were looking at me, so it made me even nervous about their reaction. they know in the first place i can't stay at a hotel alone, so they probably know that something was not in line with what they want.

"at ikon's dorm," i admitted, trying to act as if it was nothing. well, it was really nothing but i'm pretty sure that they're gonna make it a big deal of some sort.

"ikon's dorm?! don't you know how dangerous that is? you're the only girl there and there are seven of them! you should've stayed with blackpink or something!" said minsoo unnie, while the rest were just silent as she was scolding me.

i stayed silent, since i was used to this. she does this every time to me whenever i bend her rules anyway to the point that i got used to it.

"yeah, well, they weren't here and i was with donghyuk, so-"

"i can't believe you, sooji."

all i did was stay silent as she said those words to me. I didn't have any right to fight back, when it came to them being angry at me, and i was so damn used to that. instead of staying there for much longer, i decided to get out of the building to refresh my mind. being here suffocates me, at times, no matter how hard i love my company.

it was a few minutes later when i stumbled upon a stray cat in the park. smiling sadly, i crouched down and started stroking its fur. somehow, i found myself getting attached to that cat. maybe because i saw myself in that cat, being lost and mot knowing what to do with life?

even if i finally got my life dream of being a kpop idol, does it really satisfy me now that i have it? i surely thought so, before, but for some reasons, i find myself wishing a normal life no matter how hard it might be to leave my dream. i mean, i'm probably just upset right now that i start to think like this, but this thought has always been buried deep inside my other thoughts. with our comeback just around the corner, I didn't know what else to do.

sighing, i stood up and started walking away but then it started to pour which made me groan. seriously? you had to do this, weather?

"damn it. i don't even wanna go back," i muttered to myself, but i was surprised when i heard someone speaking behind me.

"feeling pressured?" asked someone, making me turn around to face him.

i was surprised to see nct's taeyong, standing behind me with an umbrella. i was starting to get soaked and i was sure he noticed, so he stood next to me and covered me with the umbrella as well. well, isn't he a helpful person? rain, you are not so nice.

"it's okay, we all feel pressured at times. but going for a walk helps, right? and i'm pretty sure that's what you are doing right now," said taeyong, making me slowly nod. he was right. walking alone or using my board really helps me relieve my stress but now that they have disallowed me to ever use my board again due to "you-might-scrape-your-knee" and "that's-not-good-for-a-girl" reasons given by them, i can only resort to walking.

"yeah, you could say that," i muttered, causing him to smile and shake his head.

"what happened, actually? you can tell me," he said, making my raise my brows in confusion. seriously, we just met today and he was showing that he cared? more people like him, please?

"it would be quite unfair if i told you mine, and you wouldn't tell me yours. what if i add up to your problems right now?" i asked, and he gave me a smile.

"then let's have a deal. i will tell you my problems and you tell me yours. just so we won't get these bottled up. that would be a hell lot of worse than anything else," he said, making me smile at him.

i guess, we can do that.

"you know, you're actually great. i wonder how, as the maknae, you get to have so much more work than the others. i mean, sure, you said they're gonna have the same schedule as you do soon, but your ceo said that only you could get that many collaborations since people have been requesting that lately. and to be honest, you were the only member of azes that stuck to me the first time i was introduced to your music," he said, making me chuckle at his words. we were just finished venting out our problems but none of us still wanted to go back so here we were, just chatting about whatever comes in mind.

"to be fair, i actually recognized you first when they showed me a picture of nct. you stood out the most to me," i said, and he laughed.

"you're not flattering me, aren't you? most girls like jaehyun," he said, making me chuckle. he looked like he was happy to hear what i said, but his words deny it.

"well, i'm not. that's seriously the case with me. although jaehyun came next," i said.

somehow that day, i made a new friend and i was able to let out some of the frustrations i've been dealing with for a while. it's nice.