girl crush [ idols x idol!oc ]

girl crush [ fifty one ]

"really, taeyong, i'm okay," i said, talking to taeyong over the phone.

i ran into him earlier, and he asked me if i was alright. i told him i was, and then he acted like he believed me. now here he was, acting like a worried dad again.

"sooji. i'm sure you're not. what's wrong?" he asked, and i looked down.

i'm scared. this is how it went with eunwoo. i opened myself to him, and then we just stopped talking. we became strangers with memories. i didn't want taeyong and i to be like that, honestly.

i'm scared of losing him, too. i'm scared that he'll leave me once he finds a flaw of mine that he didn't want to deal with.

but still, a part of me told myself that taeyong was different, that he'll be there in a way that is different from how the others were. a part of me told myself that taeyong will stay with me even if i push him away for real.

"i... i can't really tell it over the phone, can i?" i told him, and then i heard him fumbling with something before speaking.

i played with the hem of my satin night gown, its material calming me down from the bit of nervousness crawling in my system.

"i'll come over," he replied, making me widen my eyes.

what?

"taeyong, hey, it's 2 am, what are you talking about?" i said, and then he chuckled from the other line.

"baby, time is meaningless if it meant making you feel better," he said, making my heart skip a beat.

baby? yah, lee taeyong!

i wasn't able to say anything for a few moments, calming my heart. why does a simple sentence of his suddenly made my heart race?

what is with me?!

"y-yah," i said, hearing another chuckle from him.

"don't protest, sooji-ah. i'm already on my way," said taeyong, making me gulp.

"o-okay. t-take care," i said, and then ended the call.

i lost grip of my phone and then placed my hand on my beating heart. jeez, why am i feeling like this?

i then focused on the tv that was turned on. i wasn't even paying attention to the movie that was playing. my popcorn was left untouched, my anxious self just feeling the room with the atmosphere i wasn't fond of.

after a few minutes, i heard the door bell rang. shakily, i stood up from the couch and then opened the door to reveal taeyong.

he had a cap on, a mask, a plain white shirt, and black jeans. he looked attractive even with just plain looking clothes, and i tried to shrug it all off.

taeyong has been making my heart race lately, and i wasn't sure if it was right for me to feel this way.

he told me he liked me before, and i've been thinking about it ever since, too. it wasn't that i didn't think he was likeable. it's just that i was scared it might end up like donghyuk and eunwoo.

"hey," he said, and i smiled at him.

"hey," i replied.

he then took off his cap and his mask, placing them on the coffee table when i welcomed him in.

i let him sit on the couch, offering him the popcorn from earlier. i sat down beside him, mind drifting off to different thoughts.

"so, what has gotten your thoughts in knots?" taeyong asked, making me look away at first before answering him.

"i'm just doublethinking about my decisions. was it right that i left yg? was it right that i left sm before that, too? what is the right decision to make? i kinda feel like ceo sooman is also spoiling me just because i went back to the company. i'm bothered. i don't want unequal treatment to the other artists," i said, pouting slightly. i then felt his side of the couch dip, as he faced me.

"hey, look at me. what's done is done, baby. we can't do anything about the past. just follow what path you're going to right now, and follow your heart. if the decision you made was wrong, then you can learn from it and use that lesson for what you'll do next time, right? the key to that is never give up, and do what you think is right. don't let things bother you too much," taeyong explained, and i smiled at him.

"yeah. i guess. but what if-"

"no what if's, sooji-ah. besides, we sm artists like it that you're back, too. we understand. you're a gem that should be kept and taken care of," taeyong said, making me blush and look down. "don't look down, baby. your crown will slip."

damn it. why is he doing this to me? why is he always here for me? why is he telling me all these sweet words, like he meant them? does he really mean what he says?

"sooji, look at me," he whispered, so i slowly looked up at him.

his face was a few centimeters away from me, making my heart skip a beat. oh, god. take me away from the beauty that's in front of me.

he looked like he was handcrafted by the gods, and i was a mortal right in front of him.

"forget your worries, okay? i'll carry them with you. just let me do this for you," he whispered, and before i knew it, his hand was holding my chin softly and his lips were placed on mine.

i closed my eyes, melting into the kiss. slowly, i wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing back.

his hands started moving to my sides, gripping my waist and inching me closer towards him. he made me straddle his lap, as we pulled away from the kiss.

i couldn't explain how fast my heart was beating and how good it felt. all i knew is that it was what i felt like what i wanted. i felt so comfortable in his arms, like all my worries were washed away.

"damn it, sooji. i keep falling deeper for you," he whispered against my ear, holding me close.

"i... i'm sorry," i said, giggling.

"as expected from the nation's girl crush," he said, chuckling. "i wish you meant it when you kissed me back."

"i... i did."