strangers | sope

twenty four

Hoseok

Hoseok held his shivering knees to his pounding chest while making an attempt to steady his erratic breathing.

"O- one, t-" he tried to count his breaths but it only made it harder and harder to breathe correctly.

Yoongi was away at his parents house for a visit and had only been gone a few days, he would be back in a few more; it wasn't the absence of is boyfreind that made Hoseok uneasy it was the upcoming events that had him in tatters.

Hoseok's friends had decided to audition for an idol company since they were all in their early twenties and bored of normal life, Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung had former dance and vocal experience, Seokjin had the voice of an angel and Namjoon and Yoongi were famous in youtube for their incredible rapping skills.

Hoseok had his dance and that was it; in his mind he was miles less talented than the others in his group, sure he had collaborated on 'ddaeng' but he didn't belive for one second he had any talent for rapping whatsoever.

He had been dancing for hours upon hours dance class would end and he and the other boys would stay for an hour or so to practice but they didn't know that Hoseok would return after dark and keep going until sunrise. He was exhausted and mentally tired, feeling himself slip slowly into his old ways.

The desire to not let his friends down just pushed him further but when he awoke with a sharp shooting pain running through his body he could barely stand. This sent the poor boy even further down.

Sitting on the cold bathroom floor he shivered, goosebumps running through his body; I don't deserve to be warm and comfortable, I'm not doing well enough yet.

The tears streamed down his pale but blotchy face one after the other like raindrops in a storm, he couldn't control the yelps he would occasionally let out but he tried to. Jimin and Jungkook were out somewhere Hoseok was too tired to listen exactly but he was incredibly wary that they would walk through the door any minute to find the disheveled mess on their bathroom floor.

He wanted Yoongi but he didn't want to be a burden, he was with his parents. Hoseok didn't want to interuppt.

His breathing became worse and worse, and he felt a soaring pain run through his chest like a bullet. The continuous shaking of his entire body only made it harder.

Hoseok was having a panic attack.

Why I can't be as good of a dancer as Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook?

Why can't I be at least half as good at rapping as Yoonie and Namjoon?

Why can't I be good enough?

The negative thoughts ran through his head like leaves in the wind and his headache was becoming unbearable.

A sudden vibration brought him out of his trance, his phone was buzzing hard on the tiles and the bright light illuminated the otherwise pitch black room. With a weak turn of his head he checked the caller id:Yoonie🐢❤🐱

Usually when Yoongi called he was busy with practice and missed the call or was exhausted and had accidentally fallen asleep so he felt the need to answer, it wasn't practical by any means but he wanted- no needed- to hear Yoongi's voice.

He shivered whilst accepting the call, continuously trying his very hardest to control himself.

"Hello? Seokie?" Yoongi's soft voice was soothing it relaxed Hoseok almost instantly.

"H-hey Yoonie," he managed to choke out with a whisper.

"Hobi? Baby are you okay?" The worry was eminent in his panicked voice.

"I- yeah I'm fine," he bit his lap as he help back a sob, he wasn't fine.

"Seokie, please don't lie to me. Talk to me," Yoongi sounded firm but still empathetic. "It's okay, I promise I'm here for you Hobi."

"I don't want to ruin your visit with your parents, it's okay I'm fine really." Hoseok stammered.

With a sigh Yoongi responded "I'm coming home early, I'm on the train right now. Please talk to me Hoseokie I'm worried."

"How long will it take you to make it here?" Hoseok asked swallowing his pride, he knew he sounded selfish and desperate but he also knew that he needed Yoongi more than anything right now.

"Maybe fourty minuets? Can you stay on the line with me until then?" Hobi swallowed the growing lump in his dry throat and nodded, quickly realising that this was a phone call and he couldn't be seen. (Mood)

"O-okay."

-

Yoongi

The rest of the train ride consisted of Yoongi giving much needed words of love, affection and encouragement; if he was being honest he wasn't surprised when Hoseok answered and wasn't well.

He had started to become anxious for his boyfriend we every time he had a missed call the reason was dance almost every time, he tried to deny overworking but Yoongi knew Hoseok better than he knew himself and it was obvious.

That's why he was returning early, he loved Hoseok with his entire heart  (and even more still) he just wanted his baby to be safe. It didn't bother him leaving early in the slightest. 

Eventually the train came to a stop at the correct station and Hoseok could hear the commotion of the passengers over the phone line, Yoongi began to speed walk through the streets earning odd looks from nosy pedestrians along the way.

He quickly found the spare key which the three boys kept hidden in a small inconspicuous potted plant next to the front door and entered the seemingly unoccupied apartment.

"Seokie!?" Yoongi called out, completely forgetting about the current phone call ongoing through his ear buds. 

He heard faint shuffling from the bathroom and headed over.

Opening the door he was stunned to find the room drowning in darkness, it was only about eight in the evening but the closed blinds didn't leave much room for the last glow of sunlight.

Yoongi hesitantly flipped the light switch and blinked at the sudden change of lighting. He noticed a small, weak looking Hoseok curled up in in a ball in the corner of the room wearing only some light shorts and a cotton t-shirt which was nowhere near convenient in the minus temperature of the late winter months.

Without a second of hesitation Yoongi dropped to his knees and took Hoseok into his arms, wrapping as much of himself as he could around the boy in an attempt to warm him up even slightly.

"Hoseokie, come here." Hobi didn't need to be told twice as he melted into his boyfreind, his slow sobbing coming to an end.

(Hobi has me sad and soft today 😔 also mayhaps this book is coming to an end soon so I'm double sad)