Rumour|G.D

Rumour - one hundred

The letter

Dear Grayson Dolan,
I wrote this before you made your decision.
i want you to know what I'm doing is hard for me.
Don't EVER think what I'm doing is easy, because it's not.
It's the hardest thing that i had to do.
I wish i could stay but I'm doing this for your own good.

I have repeatedly told myself i can't hold you back, especially now, because of how far you have come in your career.
It's too late to turn back.
You're famous now.
That kind of stuff sticks.

I don't want you to put your youtube career on hold for me, and i know you would have, because that's the kind of person you are. You would do anything for me. Even if i told you not too you would still go ahead and do it anyway, because of your ignorance, and i love you for that, but i can't let you be ignorant now.

I just can't have that. The guilt would grow inside of me. It would kill me
I would've ruined your future and i don't want to be the reason for that.
I would've ruined Ethan's too.
For the Dolan twins, there has to be two.
It's in the name.
Twins.
I would've been the reason why the fans stopped supporting you.

These people love you so much.
You make them happy, feel loved. Laugh uncontrollably.
You make them cry just because you noticed an edit.
They cry if you follow them on social media.
Or you took a photo with them.
i want you to carry on doing that.
If you don't do it for them, do it for me.

I have so much appreciation for you.
It's unreal.
I can't explain how i feel.

You're the best human being i have ever met, and i wish we knew each other in different circumstances.
I wish we were best friend's before it happened.
But i wouldn't change anything about the time we had with each other.

When i heard this rumour going around i was so mad.
But now that i think back to it, I'm so glad you lied to Sidney Frey.
I'm not going to lie I'm thankful to Sidney too somehow. Even though she's a bitch.

I'm happy she was out of your life a little while.

Every day, every hour, every minute, even every second with you were the happiest times of my life.
Even when you made me whacked my head on my bed.
It hurt but i loved it because i was with you.

When that new girl came into class, and you kissed me to show her that I'm your girlfriend.
You don't know how wild my heart went.
I wanted you to kiss me again but i knew you wouldn't. Now that i think back to it. Why didn't I kiss you again?

It's crazy what one person can do to you.

Adults, always say you will find your true love.
It got to the point of high school where I gave up on getting a boyfriend. I mean all the boys at our school, are just ew.

When I met you it was so different from what I expected. I thought we would last a week in a fake relationship. Yet here we are nearly a year together.

It blows my mind how important you are to me.
You make me happy, more than anyone in this world. I'm so thankful for all the moments we had. I love you for that.

I wish we could have more, but you didn't want to. That's okay, I don't hate you for it.  That's why I have decided to leave. Far from New Jersey.

I'll be okay, and you'll be okay. You need to succeed in your career with Ethan.

I know this won't look good in the public eye with the whole of me leaving. It will make me look like a gold digger. I just want you to know I have not and will not ever use you like that. That would hurt reading that on the internet but I guess that's what I get if I leave.

I've changed my phone number and taken myself off social media.
It will be easier for us if we had no contact.

This breaks my heart, you don't understand why I'm doing this but I'm sure you will soon.

It's better this way.

I love you, Grayson Dolan.
I hope the best for you in the future and hope you get everything you want.

I just want to thank you, for this amazing life I have had for the last year because of you. I will cherish all the moments we had together.

Yours,

Carter Johnson