endless possibilities » colin kaepernick [complete]

ch. 4 || fml

•Jalissa's POV•

People used to tell me all the time, "your first time is gonna hurt," which is one of the main reasons I stayed a virgin. There were other people who would say it wouldn't hurt, and then there were people that told me it depends. Well in my case, it didn't hurt. I don't know if it was because Colin took his time or what, but I'm thankful.

Once we got past our slow & awkward start, I wanted him to go faster. Everything was fine until...

"Uh oh."

Nobody wants to hear that when they're having sex.

"What do you mean 'uh oh?'" I asked slowly.

He pulled out, slid the condom off and threw it away. He wasn't telling me anything, which only made me more nervous.

"Colin, what happened?" I asked again.

"The condom broke..."

I swear to God at that moment it felt like someone punched me in the stomach.

"Please tell me you're lying," I said on the verge of crying.

"I wish I was, but I'm not."

A tear rolled down my cheek, and I slid on the floor, using the covers to hide my naked body.

"Hey," Colin said, sitting down beside me. "Don't blame yourself for this. It's not your fault."

I didn't even realize he had already put on pants because I was wallowing in self pity.

"Colin, I can't afford to get pregnant," I said quietly.

I looked at him, and he wiped my eyes and kissed my forehead. He was being oddly calm about this, which is kinda weird to me.

"Maybe we'll get lucky and nothing will happen," he said, squeezing my hand in a comforting way.

"I can't go back to Gia's house tonight."

"Then stay here," he said standing up.

He walked over to his closet and took out a shirt, then went to his drawer and got some boxers for me to sleep in.

I took a shower, put on the clothes he gave me, then went back into his room, where he was changing the sheets. I put my clothes in my bag and stared out the window.

"You okay?" Colin asked.

"Yeah. I'm just a little tired," I said.

"Well, you can come lie down if you want."

I walked over to the bed and lied down, facing the window. I closed my eyes, hoping I would fall asleep so I could forget about what happened in the last couple of hours.

∘∘∘

the next morning // 9:40 a.m.

As I was going up the elevator to Gia's apartment, I start thinking about the possibility of Gia & I getting into another fight. Luckily, Colin offered to take me to the airport if that happens.

I opened the door to her apartment and prayed she wasn't in her living room. But since God has it out for me this weekend, I wasn't so lucky.

I walked right past her, hoping she wouldn't say anything to me.

"Where were you, Lis?" she asked, "I've been calling you all night."

"I was out," I said plainly.

"I know you were with Colin. Where did you go?"

"His house."

I was getting tired of all her questions already, and she's only asked two.

She sighed. "Jalissa, what are you doing? I thought I told you to stay away from him. You didn't have sex with him, did you?"

"I don't see how that's your business."

I've never talked to Giovanna this way, so she was definitely shocked.

"Because I'm your cousin and I care about you," she said with a little attitude. "When I tell you to stay away from someone, it's for your own good."

"Don't sit here and pretend you're such a great cousin because the whole time I was here, you ignored me to be with your boyfriend! So I spent time with someone that actually wanted to hang out with me."

I turned to go to my room, but she grabbed my arm.

"Where are you going?" she asked, "I'm not done talking to you."

"Well I'm done talking to you. I'm gonna go pack, so I can leave and you won't have to be bothered with me anymore."

I snatched my arm from her and went to go pack. Once I finished, I called Colin.

"Hey, are you done?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, I'm on the way."

"Can you come quickly? I don't wanna be here anymore." I said, tracing invisible patterns on my leg.

"Of course. I'll be there as soon as possible."

After I hung up, I sat in the room because I wasn't gonna argue with Gi anymore. Ten minutes later, Colin texted me to let me know he was here, so I walked out, put Gi's key on the table, and went downstairs.

"What happened?" Colin asked when I got in the car.

"We got in another fight."

He didn't question anything. He just drove straight to the airport. When we got there, he insisted on waiting with me. We waited & waited, and they finally called my flight number.

"Thank you for spending time with me this weekend," I said to Colin.

"No problem. I'm glad I got to spend my weekend with you."

I smiled and gave him a hug before walking toward the gate, but he grabbed my hand.

"I don't know when or if I'll see you again," he started, "maybe I could get a goodbye kiss."

"You're not afraid someone's gonna take a picture?"

"No."

I shrugged and went to kiss his cheek, but he kissed my lips instead. It was a pretty long kiss too.

"If you're ever in Georgia for whatever reason, call me," I said.

"I will."

He let go of my hand slowly, and I boarded my flight.

Time to get back to reality..