My Golden Life

Chapter 29

The months rolled by, and I wish I could say that things got better, but sadly they didn't. Nothing seemed to change. Dad continued to drink excessively, and he wasn't planning on stopping anytime soon. As for Daniel and I, we felt more like servants than we did his children. I say, servants, more like slaves. From the moment we'd wake up till the time we went to bed, we were under his control; working to the bone and following the new rules that were enforced on us. Did he do anything? Not at all. He would sit back and order us around, expecting us to do everything. I know some of you who are reading may be thinking, 'It can't have been that bad.'

Trust me, you have no idea what we went through, and I hope no one ever has to experience what we did in their lives.

Whatever dad wanted, he'd get. If he told us to do something, it was done immediately. No questions asked. There was no arguing with him, no reasoning at all, and if you stepped out of line or didn't do what he asked of you... the punishments were, well... I don't know how to describe them. Let's just say they weren't the nicest. I've lost count on how many times I witnessed Dad explode in anger. The number of times he would reach for his belt, raise his hands at us, the words he would say would break us bit by bit. Comforting Daniel became a regular thing for me, reminding him to be brave were the words that I would frequently say. 

To him, I was the stronger one, the one who was able to put up with all the torment and anguish. Not letting the words bring me down, not letting them get to me.

But they did. I was weak inside, broken, and full of guilt.

Day after day, the blame would be put on me, I was dad's primary target. His punching bag if you will. Countlessly making me feel responsible for mum's passing; making me accountable for all the tragedy that had occurred in the family. Over time, I started to take on his words. I was ashamed of myself and who I was, of the life I had led.

"You're a terrible person."

"You've caused so much misery and pain."

"Your mum would be disgusted by you if she was still alive."

"It's all on you, you caused this to happen. Now face the consequences."

These were the things my conscience would tell me, and for a long time, I thought this to be true.

When I looked in the mirror, no longer did I see a cheerful and happy young girl. Instead, I only saw a evil and troublesome person, who caused sadness and chaos wherever she went.

I desperately tried to change, and I even went to an extreme length just to do so. I had heard rumours about an older woman who lived not too far from the village that could somehow change the colour of hair. I didn't believe it at first, but then I spoke to a small handful of people who had gone to see her and I can say hand on heart, that their hair was no longer the same as what it used to look like.

I decided to take my chances and see it for myself. I won't bore you with all the intricate details about how she did it. I'm not actually allowed to tell you, even if I did know how to explain it. All I can say is that I went from having bright golden hair to it now looking a honey blonde colour.

(For those wondering what that looks like, it's a mixture of light brown and blonde. In short, it's a standard hair colour that someone could be born with. A colour that people won't stop and stare at or question in any regard.)

Dad didn't notice at all that I had changed my look, but of course, Daniel did. Though he wasn't happy with me doing it, he said I still looked pretty.

I masked my true identity, concealed the past and all the suffering that came with it. It helped a little bit, but not that much. I would breakdown whenever no one was around, crying myself to sleep, wanting this never-ending suffering to end, to be loved and cared for. However, at the same time, I wanted this for myself. I felt as though I should be punished for causing so much distress to those around me, and most for all, getting rid of the one person that genuinely adored and cherished me. That gave me love and hope all my life.

As time passed, Dad would give us mean glances and stares, he would grumble about Daniel and I being around and how he couldn't stand living with us anymore. He then began to sneak around the house and hide things from us whenever we come into the room. I noticed that he had been writing and receiving lots of letters from someone, but I didn't dare ask who. It was then one autumn evening that he yelled for Daniel and me to come downstairs. I figured that we had yet another job to do, or we that hadn't done something to his standards. Boy was we in for the shock of our lives.

"Hurry up the pair of you," He boomed. "Don't keep me waiting."

"We're coming," I called, dashing down the stairs into the living room with my brother close behind.

"What's wrong?" Daniel stuttered.

"I called you two down here because I have some news." He replied.

"What kind of news?" I asked.

"I'm selling the house."

"What!" Daniel shouted, "Why?"

"Why?" Dad exclaimed "I'm tired of living in this stupid village, that's why. I hate it here, and so I'm moving away from this horrible place."

"But this is our home!" I cried. "Everything we know and love is here."

"And where are we even going to be moving to?" Daniel added.

"We?" Dad laughed. "Who said that you two pests were coming with me?"

"Wait... we're going with you? I questioned.

"Of course not!" He yelled. "Why would I want you two living with me? You've been a burden to me ever since your mum died. I want to get away from the pair of you."

"But... where are Katie and I going to live?" Daniel asked.

"That brings me to my next set of news." Dad chuckled.

"Which is what?" I questioned.

"I'm placing you both in boarding school."

"What!" Daniel and I exclaimed. I could feel my body starting to tense up.

"You can't do this to us," I shouted. "There's no way we're-"

"I can, and you will." Dad roared. "Everything has been signed and sorted out. You are going to boarding school, and that's that. Now go upstairs and pack your belongings, we're leaving first thing tomorrow morning."

With that, he budged past us and stormed out the front door, leaving Daniel and me standing in the living room in absolute shock. Daniel quickly embraced me, and I did the same.

"This isn't real," I thought. "This can't be happening."