Stained

Chapter 1

I stand here, rooted to the pavement, staring at the looming presence of my new university, trying—and failing—to summon even a flicker of the happiness everyone else seemed to feel on my behalf the moment I told them I got accepted.

The University of Exeter. One of the highest-ranked in the UK. A place people dream of getting into. A place that's supposed to open doors and change lives.

And yet, here I am, numb.

Across the road, the main building rises like something out of a postcard—grand, old, and intimidating in the kind of way that makes you feel like you should be smarter just by breathing its air. Ivy snakes up parts of the brickwork, and tall, elegant windows reflect the pale morning light. The campus is already coming alive—students walking in pairs, laughing, coffee cups in hand, backpacks slung over one shoulder like it's effortless.

It's beautiful. It really is.

But instead of awe, all I feel is pressure. Weight. Like this is the moment I'm supposed to become someone new—and I'm already behind.

So now, I stand here, across the road from it all, silently willing some kind of happiness—or at the very least, calm—to seep into me. Preferably before Kenzie arrives, my old college friend turned soon-to-be uni companion. She'll be bright, chatty, stylish — everything I wish I was.

Meanwhile, I'm just hoping I don't fall apart before stepping through the doors.

Or maybe it's just nerves. Once again, I'll have to figure everything out. New teachers. New routines. Explaining my struggles. Learning my timetable. Discovering the best places to eat. Figuring out who to hang around with. And a whole lot more my brain hasn't even processed yet.

I will get lost. Often.

New people.

Though, thankfully, a few of my friends from high school and college already go here. That's something.

New timetable. New lunch staff. New—

I'm so lost in thought that I don't notice Kenzie standing in front of me until she tugs my headphones out and pulls me into a hug. Her familiar vanilla scent wraps around me like a warm blanket, and for a brief moment, I feel relief—a soft, calming balm against the anxiety that had been swarming through me a second ago.

"Hiya, gorgeous! I missed you!" she squeals in my ear before stepping back, a big smile stretched across her glossy lips as she looks me over. "Love the outfit." I mentally pat myself on the back for sticking to my safe option. I'm wearing my wide-leg, flared grey denim jeans—the kind that skim the ground slightly when I walk and make that soft swishing sound with every step. I've paired them with a white fluffy jumper that feels like wearing a cloud—soft, oversized, and just heavy enough to make me feel safe in my own skin. It's not the most fashion-forward outfit, but it's comfortable. Simple. Something I could disappear into if I needed to. And I have a feeling—one I know all too well—that I might need to disappear a lot today.

I manage a smile in return, surprised by the little spark of comfort it brings."I missed you too, beautiful. And thank you... I mean, my outfit's nowhere near as put-together as yours, but I gave it my best shot."

She beams at the compliment, and I can't help but take in her look again. She's paired a crisp white halter top that flatters her golden skin with a fitted pink pencil skirt that hugs her figure like it was tailored just for her. Over it, she's thrown on a black bomber jacket—cropped, sleek, and effortlessly cool, like the kind of thing you see in a fashion ad but never think someone you know could actually pull off.

Kenzie always had that magnetic presence—like she could walk into a room and bend the attention toward her without even trying. And somehow, even in the chaos of a rushed morning and blaring car horns, she looks like she stepped off the set of some Gen Z romcom.