Stained

Chapter 140

"Are you okay?"

I startle and look over my shoulder. It's Damien. I bet I look weird just sitting out here. I wonder if he thinks I was eavesdropping. I was too engrossed in the drawing to even do that but he doesn't know that.

I bolt upright. "I wasn't eavesdropping. Hannah and dariel are having a private conversation downstairs that's why I'm sitting out here like a weirdo," I speak so fast I wonder if he heard me properly.

He cocks his head to the side. "I never said you were eavesdropping. I asked if you were okay."

I narrow my eyes, not buying into it. "Why so you can laugh at me?"

He looks away, smiles, licking his lips. "I wasn't laughing at you." He betrays his words by laughing as he says it.

I roll my eyes. "You sure weren't laughing with me though."

All humour leaves his face. "I liked seeing you like that," the awe in his voice surprises me more than what he says.

For some reason, those words cause me to become self-conscious. I awkwardly rock on the balls of my heels. "Like what?" I mumble, staring at my feet.

"Bossy."

I squint my eyes at him. He's seen that side to me more than anyone I know. "Haven't I always been like that with you?"

"Yeah, but it's different when I'm not at the receiving end of it."

Any form of confrontation scares me, a lot. My bossy side came out with Hayden because I'm overprotective of Hannah and the idea of him going out in a drunk state and hurting her again brought it out in me. Otherwise, I've never really been comfortable enough to do that with anyone else. Only Damien. He brings out the tough girl in me even though I'm annoyed with him. It doesn't make sense but still somehow does.

I don't know why, but I suddenly feel shy so I turn around and look at the scribble portrait.

"Why were you so mad at Hayden?" He asks.

His question throws me off guard. I give him a strange look. How could someone not be mad at him? "He drunk alcohol in front of Dariel."

"He would never drink in front of him. Dariel was in the other room." His eyes assess me.

Oh. My lips part with shock. I jumped to conclusions again. Ugh, I hate my negative mind. However, he is drunk and Dariel is bound to see that. Though, I'm not sure if that would trigger him. I get a feeling it would since he's also craving being intoxicated. But like I said, I'm not sure.

As if hearing my thoughts, Damien says, "you don't know him yet you care so much?" There's an underlying note in his voice I fail to understand.

"I sympathise with him." He gives me a strange look and I'm quick to explain. "I'm not an addict but I understand the concept of him not choosing to be the way he is. I mean- like he doesn't choose to be an addict..." I trail off, shaking my head. I can't word it properly and sound stupid. "That doesn't make any sense, ignore—."

He cuts me off, "it does." His facial features soften, his eyes flaring with emotion.

It scares me. From the gentle movement in his throat as he swallows to the muscle that jumps in his jaw. I don't want to hope so I spin back around to face the drawing. But I can't focus on it, my mind a whirlwind of questions I'm too much of a coward to find the answers to.

'You so easily forgot how he left you and went to Olivia.'

A giant lump forms in my throat.

"You look beautiful by the way."

The lump dissipates as if it was never there to begin with and my heart skips a beat. I stare back at Damien with wide bulging eyes. I have to be hearing things. But his flushed cheeks beg to differ.

He seems to catch himself, "not that you don't usually look beautiful. You always look beautiful, especially without makeup —."

"Thank you," I smile, cutting him some slack. I think stuttering Damien is my favourite. I don't know why. I think it has something to do with seeing him carefree enough to be vulnerable like that around me.

'Stop thinking too much into normal things. He's human, every human stutters. You overthink everything, it's why you're also overthinking this.'

Andddd the feelings gone. But they're right. I turn back to the drawing, just as my smile falls off my lips.

"Do you like it?" Damien's voice breaks me out of my head. He comes and stands beside me and I have to force away my frown.

"The scribble portrait?" I clarify, keeping my eyes focused on the drawing.

"Yes."

"I love it. Who's the artists?" Usually, artists have it written on the bottom right-hand corner but this one doesn't.

"Me."

My head whips to his, eyes wide. "You?" I remember finding a drawing of me in his house and how realistically good it was. How did I not figure it out sooner?

"You seem shocked?" He smiles down at me and the dimples in his cheeks indent. Looking at him now makes it hard to believe that there was once a time I was shocked to see him smile.

"I've never seen your drawings," I lie. Does he know I saw the one of me? Albeit it was an accident. But other than that, I've only seen him in art, never his drawings.

"If you stopped running away from me every time you saw me, I could," his voice is so light and carefree it sets my heart aflame.

And then I register what he said. "I don't run away from you." I tuck my lips in to suppress a giggle, look back at the drawing.

'You seem to be forgetting why you were running away from him and that you should also be doing it now.'

They're right but I just can't make myself do it this time. Plus Hannah hasn't messaged me yet so I don't have a choice. It's a blatant excuse, I know, but a reasonable one at that.

"Maybe when I show you my drawings you could reciprocate by showing me yours?" He sounds so hopeful it tares my heart apart.

"Damien," I breathe out, my heart clenching. "You know why that can't happen."

He turns and steps closer to me. I back away until my back collides with the bannister railing. He wraps his arms around my waist and I instantly melt into his embrace, relishing in the warm comfort, the familiarity of his body, his scent, his skin.

"Damien," I whisper, unsure of what's happening.

"I fucked up, I'm sorry...