Stained

Chapter 84

I'm grateful for the cute little girl's screaming fit. If it weren't for her, I would have done something that would surely torture me later — every time a smile would creep up on my lips from the memory, mere seconds later, the sad reality would come in the form of a deep painful thrust of a knife inside my heart.

What is wrong with me? Why is it every time he's near I'm propelled toward him like a magnet? This is ridiculous. I'm ridiculous. We're ridiculous.

I don't realise I'm walking until Damien's shadow merges with mine, the crooked angle makes it look as if we're holding hands.

My heart clenches painfully.

I need to stay away from him. I need to stay away from him. I need to stay away from him.

"I'm going to Victoria's Secret," I blurt out before I can stop myself.

Damien's eyes widen slightly before glazing over with lust, a smirk tipping his lips to the side.

Oh, come on!

"I don't mind," the deep timbre of his voice makes my pulse drift between my legs.

Stop it, Hazel!

"Well, I mind," I tell him with a fake purse of my lips.

I speed walk ahead of him, creating a little distance between us. Which proves useless. With his long legs, he quickly gets back in line with me.

There's so much I want to ask him. How badly he was hurt during the fight? Where he was for the past week? If he was jailed?

I want to, but guilt has turned my tongue into a heavy weight inside my mouth.

"What were you doing in town?" He asks after a minute of walking in complete and utter silence. It is nearly eight o'clock and the shops are closing, the street almost empty. Only a few people line the roads, laughing and singing.

I give him a questioning look.

"You don't have any shopping bags," he counters. 

I pout down at my empty hands. I would have. "Waterstones closed before we got there." We were five minutes too late.

He chuckles silently and the small sound grasps my heart in a tight grip, squeezing out all the endorphins. I tuck my lips in between my teeth to conceal a stupid smile.

"I meant clothes."

I scrunch up my nose hating the idea of wasting book money on clothes when I already have enough. Plus books are cheaper and make me happy. I don't care for my outfits. Unless they are very comfy then its difficult to stop myself.

Actually, there was something. "Primark had these really cute minion pyjama bottoms. But none of my size were on display. The woman said she would go check in the back but she never came out." We waited for more than ten minutes too.

"Should we go try again with a different staff member?" He offers.

"It's eight. They're closed now," I shake my head. "What about you? What are you doing in town? You don't have any shopping bags either."

"Isn't Victoria's secret behind us?"

I blush, looking away. "Erm- I- I—."

"Come, let's get a Starbucks. We can drink it on the way to your car together. And we're walking to your car together. I'm not letting you make your way there alone on a Friday night."

On queue, a bunch of guys across the road from us laugh loudly.

I follow his gaze to the Starbucks two shops ahead. My fear barely lets me contemplate the decision.

I really hate this cruel male-dominated world.

Letting out an annoyed breath not directed at him, I nod my head yes.

Damien opens the door for me as I step inside.

He has barely taken a step inside when I whirl on him. I'm short so he doesn't see me and crashes into me. I almost fall back, but he loops an arm around my waist and pulls me into his chest before I can.

Butterflies take flight in my stomach and shivers run down my spine from his touch. God, I missed this.

Snap out of it Hazel.

I look up at Damien and level him with a hard stare. "I can pay for myself."

He smiles down at me and those damn dimples pop out, causing my heart to trip over itself.

"I know you can."

"Good," I smile and step out of his hold. I can't believe I've finally gotten to him. I feel like I should get an award, or a medal, or something grand.

For now, I settle on a mental pat on the back.

'You were supposed to stay away from him Hazel,' a voice reminds me.

My smile dissipates. It's not the normal cruel voices or the rare sad ones. It's the younger, naive me who still hoped for redemption, even after all the horrid things she experienced.

I thought she died?

If she's come out after all these years it makes all my fears regarding him definite. Of me falling in love with him but him not being able to with a broken burden.

"What's wrong?" Damiens asks, stepping in front of me.

I didn't realise I froze. I shake my head forcing a smile. "Nothing."

"You okay?" His voice is gentle and soothing as he places a hand on my arm.

I involuntarily flinch and he withdraws his hand.

Ignoring the splintering pain in my chest, I move over to the cashier. "Can I get a double chocolate chip frappe, please? Medium." This best cheer me up.

"Large black coffee," Damien says from behind me.

"Are you together?" Her question catches me off guard for a second, and then I realise what she means.

"No," I say at the same time as Damien says "yes."

There goes my stupid heart again, skipping a couple of beats.

She gives us a confused look. "Yes," Damien repeats.

I finally glance up at him. He's watching me with an impassive expression.

Ok then... I'll pay for him seeing as though I owe him for the window and the time he paid for me at Sainsbury's. But this is only a couple of pounds, what he paid for the former was hundreds more than what I've already given him.

I try not to dwell on it, it will just worsen my mood. Although that might not be a bad thing in comparison to my pain.

I swiftly diminish the thought. I've given him enough crap, already, he most definitely doesn't deserve anymore for my pointless feelings.

"That will be ten twenty-three please," the waitress tells Damien.

Really? Why can't girls pay? Why is a girl paying seen as taboo?

I mentally slap myself even though my internal anger does not reflect on my face — I never said no after Damien said yes so I can't fault her.

She asks how he would like to pay and the second Damien answers card I pull out Apple Pay on my phone and smack it against the machine just as Damiens card presses on my hand.

A goofy, triumphant grin takes over my entire face as I whip my head to face Damien. He's scowling down at my hand, but when he raises his eyes to my face his eyes brighten and his expression morphs into tenderness.

Without even realising it, I stick my tongue out at him.

I blanch. Did I really just stick my tongue out at him? Unfortunately, Damiens wide amused eyes are a massive confirmation.