Stained

Chapter 33

I don't know where I'm going exactly but as long as it's away from him, I don't care.

I haven't rung Hannah yet to ask if I could stay at hers so I take my phone out and ring her.

As soon as she answers, I cut to the chase, "can I stay at your place tonight? My mums in Huddersfield and I don't have the keys. And I don't want to go to my cousins' house. You know what they did." I speak so fast I'm out of breath.

"Shit. I'm in Bradford and won't be coming back till tomorrow," she tells me and my heart drops. What am I going to do now? There was always Sarah, but she's still on holiday.

"I'm sorry," she says after a moment of me not responding.

"It's ok. I'll talk to you later." I cut the call.

"Rose." I hear Damien say a second before he grabs my wrist.

I spin in his hold and smack his chest, but I do it with my bad hand. I somehow manage to suppress a sound of agony.

"What are you doing!" I shout startled.

"You have a bad habit of running away from me," he pants out as if he ran after me. Oh my gosh, he did; his chest is heaving with quick succession.

"Yeah? Well maybe it's 'cause you faked pity to sleep with me!" I scream. Tears springing into my eyes as my composure cracks into a million pieces.

Pain flashes in Damien's eyes... well, what looks to be like pain.

"Look I don't know how many times I have to say this for it to sink in. But I'm not going to sleep with you so stop with this fake persistency of wanting to help me."

His eyes turn sad. "Is that really how low you think of me? That I'm horrible enough to not help you without a selfish motive?"

"Can you blame me?" I choke on a sob. Tears freely stream down my cheeks, merging with the raindrops as the pain of the realisation hits me once again.

Damien shoves his wet curls out his eyes. "I fucked up, alright. But I never faked pity to fuck you. Yes, at the beginning I pursued you to f- sleep with you, but at the time I never knew about your cuts, I saw them after. And when I cleaned them I didn't—."

"You pursued me," I howl. "I'm so sick and tired of you men objectifying women. We're not just a body for your pleasure." Just when I thought I couldn't hate men more than I already do.

"I'm not objectifying women. They know I don't want anything other than a one night stand when they agree to get in bed with me. It's a mutual agreement. And you might find this hard to believe, but the guy isn't the only one receiving pleasure."

"And if the girl wants something more..." what am I saying?

Damien's eyes don't waver. "Then nothing." 

"Of course." I roll my eyes, facing away from him. Why do I care?

"So..." he hesitates before asking, "So you believe I didn't fake pity to fuck you?"

I take in a deep breath. I jumped to conclusions way too quickly. I was wrong and I should have heard him out earlier. I think a big part of me, a part I didn't want to acknowledge, knew but didn't want to believe it because I was confused and scared of the way he made me feel. And hatred was the easiest route. Easier than facing my bodies reaction to his touch.

I wordlessly nod my head yes.

Damien gently turns me to face him by my arm. "Words rose. I need words."

I can't help staring into his beautiful green eyes.  "Yes."

He smiles and his dimples protrude. It's literally so contagious I can't help smiling back.