Stained

Chapter 20

I jerk up awake from the same nightmare, skin sweat-slicked and panting. I should be used to it by now, but It feels so real that every time I'm pulled out of it, I'm left petrified of even my own shadow. Shuddering, I rub my eyes and try to rid myself of those lucid thoughts. As I get up from bed and get ready for college, I tell myself to suck it up and put my big girls pants on.

I'm early, so I decide to get off the bus when it stops outside Starbucks. I order my drink: double chocolate chip frappe, and as I'm turning away, I realise I need to have my medication and can't have it on an empty stomach.

Turning back, I ask for a muffin and after she gives it to me she moves back to making my drink and I find an empty table in the left-hand corner of the room.

Not wanting to risk reading a new book that could possibly trigger me, I take out one of my favourites: A court of mist and fury. I scroll to a random page and start reading whilst eating my muffin. I have my headphones in so I pop one out, not wanting to miss my order.

After a minute of reading, my name gets called from one of the baristas. I thank her and grab my drink and once I'm back in my seat I dive back into my book, sipping my drink and eating my muffin along the way.

I've finished my muffin so I grab my water bottle and medicine. Pulling two different tablets out of their packets, I grab my water and swallow them whole. I try not to cover my mouth or gab at the sickening feeling and reminder of a horrible time.

I made a mistake buying a cold drink because now I'm cold and stupid me didn't bring a coat because the weather seemed good and I thought the hoodie would be enough. Boy, do I regret that decision now. Pulling my sleeves up, I cover my cold shaky fingers and go back to reading my book.

I'm at the point where Feyre throws her shoe at Rhysand — very well knowing he's the most dangerous and cruel high lord to exist. Smiling down at the book, I have to bite my lip to stifle a laugh.

The time on my phone reads seven forty-five so I'll stay here for fifteen more minutes and then make my way to college, get some revision in before class and maybe even familiarise myself with the place.

I have been trying to ignore loud girly giggling for about five minutes now, but it is so loud and squeaky that not even my musics able to drown it out. Also, it's really annoying and is distracting me from reading. 

My eyes roam over the room, searching for the source of the horrible sound and when my eyes land on a group of five girls at a big table with boys, I know without a doubt it's them even with their backs turned to me. Of course, boys are the reason for their incessant giggling. I look past the girls to the boys, hoping I don't recognise anyone.

My breath lodges in my throat when I lock eyes with the last person I expected to see. Damien.

'Well that's stupid Hazel, you go to the same college and even have a class together.'

Damien's looking right at me and... and a girl with rainbow hair is sitting on the armrest of his chair. Despite the girl sitting higher than him, he still towers over her.

A pang of sadness hits me but I quickly swallow it down and purse my lips. I can't believe I gave him my first kiss, let him touch me so intimately. He must see the disgust on my face because a snarky smirk curls his lips. Nice to know I'm a joke to him.

Just as I'm about to look away, I see his hand move in between the girl's legs. My lips part with shock or indignation, I'm not sure, but what I am sure of is the ache that pierces my chest as she looks up at him with a flirty smile. However, he doesn't look at her, his scorching gaze solely pinned on me, watching me calculatingly.