Stained

Chapter 99

It doesn't open! I release a breath I didn't realise I was holding.

"Why can I hear a man's voice?" My mum asks through the door.

Crap. I look to Damien wide-eyed, then turn back to the door and say the first lie that comes to mind. "I'm talking to Alejandro."

What is wrong with me? I was talking to Damien, shouting his name, giggling as if I wasn't in a house with my mum, her husband and my little sisters'.

"Oh, you're talking to him again?" Her voice is disbelieving. She knows all about Alejandro. She used to call him her son and would make jokes saying, "tell him to get the adoption papers ready."

I told her I saw him yesterday. Despite it, I doubt she is going to believe I've suddenly forgiven him. She knows how hurt I was. Saw it.

I hold my breath, afraid. I should have said that Hannah is talking to her brother on the phone. It would have been more convincing. If only I gave myself a second to think.

"Well, I'm glad you're friends again. Tell him I said hi."

"I will," I tell her.

"Me and your dad are going to Floras cafe in ten minutes, do you and Hannah want anything."

My eyes widen and I begin panicking. What do I say? What do I say? What do I say? Oh, wait I know, the truth. "No thank you. Hannah and I are going to peacocks." Few that was a close call.

"I thought you ran out of money."

Crap. I have. "I'm going to borrow some money from Hannah and then pay her once I get my money." As if she would let me pay her back. Good thing I don't plan to get anything.

I turn my head around and find Damien angling his head. Embarrassment flushes my cheeks. I hate that I'm having this conversation in front of him.

Ashamed, I turn back to the door when my mum speaks again. "No need, your mother is still alive. All you have to do is ask me, Hazel," she sounds a little offended and sad.

A pang of familiar guilt pierces my chest and I drop my head. "I know mum. Thank you."

When I hear her steps retreat, I release the breath I was holding.

At least we don't have to secretly sneak out now.

"Who's Alejandro?" Damien asks warily.

I jolt. I forgot he heard that. Sighing, I move to get off his lap but he only holds me against him tighter.

I don't want to talk about Alejandro, it hurts too much. "He used to be my best friend." I shrug. "Best friends fall out all the time." Feeling simmering tears, I suck my lower lip into my mouth and bite down on it.

'Cry baby. Cry baby.'

Sadness fills his expression. "You liked him?"

"No, not in that way." I smile but I'm sure it comes out forced looking. "He used to call me his little sister and I used to call him my big brother." I avert my gaze to the black sparkly wallpaper over Damiens's shoulder and dig my fingernails into my palm to stop the impending tears.

"What happened?" He whispers.

"He erm." A ginormous lump forms in my throat, stopping me from saying more and making my eyes burn.

Not again! I can't break down in front of him again.

But my body's never cared for what I want and a tear slips free.

'Weak. So fucking weak. And pathetic.'

I'm in the midsts of dislodging my fingernails from my palm so I can wipe the ugly thing away when Damien brushes it away for me and rests his palm against my cheek.