Stained

Chapter 46

Guilt pierces my chest like a sharp blade. I shouldn't have said that. I wish I didn't say that.

I open my mouth to take back my words and apologise but the voices stop me. 'Ending things on bad terms is good, that way he will stay away from you and it will make it easier for you to stay away from him since it's clear you're struggling.'

They're right.

It's hard for me to look at him when he's looking at me like that so I look away. "I think it's best if I leave now." Before he can respond I rush into the bathroom and lock the door.

"I'll drive you," Damien says, his voice coming out muffled by the door.

Seriously not this again. "No thank you. It's not dark outside so I can go on my own this time." So much for ending things on bad terms. Plus I don't need him driving me places. I'm completely capable of getting a bus or a train.

"I am," he dismisses me and I don't have the chance to argue back because I hear him walk away.

Oh, whatever. He can't force me to go and it's not raining outside or dark so he doesn't have any good excuse to make me. And it's too big of a coincidence for there to be another drug dealing around the corner.

I place my finally dry clothes on the washbasin and move over to the sink. When I look in the mirror, I gasp, shocked at my reflection. My neck is covered with reddish bluish marks. Some big and some small. Some faded and some prominent.

I can't believe I have hickeys on my neck! Damien gave me hickeys!

I whip off his t-shirt, and for the first time, manage to remove my bra with one hand. My eyes grow wide as I take in the state of myself. My nipples are red and raw from his ministrations. My neck is covered in hickeys and the area below my collar bone and around it. How am I supposed to cover this? I don't have any make-up on me.

If my mum sees this she'll flip. She'd be so disappointed in me. She expects me to be studying my ass off, not in some random guys house receiving hickeys. I promised her and myself that I would not give any guy a single second of my time, would focus all my time and effort on my education and working toward becoming mentally stable.

Although, she does expect me to eventually find a guy and get married. But not whilst I'm in education. She wasn't like this before, only after she saw my cousins throw their education in the bin over guys did she get this mindset.

Works out for me, in the meantime. Meantime because she doesn't know I have promised myself to never fall in love. I told her once and she gave me a long lecture so I didn't bother bringing it up ever again.

And where it goes for one night stands, she's super religious and only believes in sex after marriage and zero form of intercourse beforehand.

I'll have to be extremely cautious once I get to my aunties and use my hair to cover my neck.