The Veil

Chapter Ten

I wanted to know what Andrew really thought, how he knew I'd be okay, I text him and asked if he was alone, he said he was in his room on that third night.

I quietly walked down the hallway, not bothering to knock on his door, just walking straight in.  

He was sat in their patchwork arm chair in the corner of their room, next to their window, which looked out onto the side of the house, all they could really see was some thinning trees and a portion of the garden. 

He was reading a thick textbook, I couldn't even read the title of it, economics wasn't my forte.  

Their room was so much different from my own, where I had thirty or forty picture frames on the walls, all different shapes sizes and colours, Jade and Andrew just had a few canvases with pretty pictures on, white walls and thick white carpet, it was minimalistic, the only real colour in the room was the patchwork arm chair. 

My room was cluttered, picture frames everywhere, over grey and pale blue walls, wooden floors with three mismatched rugs, two book cases with books piled everywhere on them, shelves that were wonky because I'd put them up myself and then overloaded with with dvd's and trinkets. 

You couldn't even see my desk, my TV stood in the middle with bits and bobs scattered around it, papers I needed to sort through, pictures I hadn't gotten around to nailing on the wall, make-up I hardly wore. 

And I didn't even want to think about my closet. 

It was unorganised and clustered but clean. 

I sat on the edge of their bed (made, of course, I don't think I'd ever made my bed before) and faced Andrew.

"What's going on in that head of yours Lily?" He asked, smiling at me. 

"I don't even know Andrew! Honestly. I have no idea. I've liked Tom since I first got here, and never thought that he could like me back, so I kept my feelings buried. And then I find out he liked me back? Jade said you think I'd be okay? No matter what happens?" I looked at him expectantly, hoping he'd tell me how he knew that.

"You're here!" He said, he opened his arms towards me, as if presenting me to a crowd of people. 

His eyes scrunched up with the force of his smile. 

I stared at him for a few seconds, hoping he'd elaborate and when he didn't I shook my head and asked what he was talking about. 

He tutted at me but went on to explain. "Lily, you're here. You are alive and you're happy and you are still here. I have no idea what happened to you before you got here, I'm not going to ask but I do have a few theories, and all these theories seem a lot worse than not making it work with Tom." 

He chuckled slightly, "You got through whatever happened to you, and you got here alone. You might have been able to stay where you were, in the city, or you might not have been able to, but you were strong enough to leave, and start a new life here. It wasn't hard for me, I always have my family to fall back on, I live with that safety net, and so does Jade, my family is hers now. But you and probably Tom have nothing to fall back on, that I know of anyway. So if you wanted to start something with Tom, if you can work through your issues and talk things out, and things don't work out, you can live through it, you can be strong enough to keep your life here, to stay with your family. And if it works out, you've just gained the best part of life, someone to share it with." He'd only taken a few breaths, he was so animated while he spoke about me like that I couldn't help but blush and feel amazing about myself.

"So what I'm saying is just go for it, go and tell Tom what you're thinking, talk. Things are going to be okay, because I know you're the strongest person I know. You made it through whatever it was that brought you here, what's maybe not working out with a boy compared to that?" He smiled so wide at me and I had nothing to say. 

I couldn't say anything, but I stood up from the bed and grabbed him up in a big hug. 

He was so much taller and wider than I was, but I squeezed him as hard as I could. 

I tiptoed and whispered, "Thank you so much Andrew" as tears slipped from my eyes. 

I pulled away and swiped at my cheeks with my hoodie sleeve.

The dream was so vivid, again I could already feel the pain I was going to be in when I woke up.
It was my sixteenth birthday. 

"Happy Birthday baby." My mom smiled at me, kissing my cheek and pulling me into a one armed hug as she turned to my dad. 

"Happy Birthday Lil, do you want to see your present?" He asked, his eyes crinkling as he smiled wide. 

I clapped my hands as I looked around for a present. 

My smiled moved into a look of confusion and both my parents started laughing. "Paul, don't tease, go get her." 

My dad walked towards the closed kitchen door, I hadn't been allowed in all morning, I thought it was because they were decorating for my birthday breakfast we had every year. 

It took me a second to register that mom had said 'her' through my excitement.

Before I had time to ask, dad opened up the kitchen door, and walked through, behind him a little ball of fluff came tumbling through, skidding on the laminate floor. 

"Oh my god!" I squealed and dropped to my knees. 

The ball of fluff stopped for a second to look around before she spotted me and ran towards me. I scooped her up in my arms and she got so excited, she was wriggling all over, trying to lick my face, my neck, my arms. 

"She's a Husky cross German Shepard, she's going to grow real big, and she's all yours sweetie." Dad crouched down next to me, and stroked the ball of fluff wriggling around in my arms. 

"Sky." I smiled at her, she stopped wriggling for a second and looked at me, before her tongue lolled out and she tilted her head to the side. 

Dad stood back up to put his arm around my mom. 

I laughed and so did my parents, I looked up at them both, to thank them, and as I looked up, I ended up screaming. 

My parents dead eyes were staring down at me, their stomachs bleeding through their t-shirts.

I woke up with a jolt, almost screaming but managing to keep it inside me. I didn't understand why these dreams kept happening. 

I'd kept them away for years, why all of a sudden were they back? 

I couldn't stay in bed so I stood up, Sky raised her head to see where I was going and I flattened my hand at her, she placed her head back on her giant paws and closed her eyes again. 

Sadly, looking at her right then brought the dream back, and I couldn't keep thinking about it. 

It hurt. Shit why did everything hurt so much?

I didn't know where I was going to go, but I needed a distraction before the pain could hit too hard. 

As I walked down the hallway, I heard quiet music coming from Tom's room. 

Before I even knew what I was doing, I was quietly knocking on the door, hoping he'd answer.
After I'd left Andrew I'd gone back to my own room, to think again. 

He was right, I lived through both of my parents being murdered, after that it didn't seem so much to talk to Tom. 

"Come in." He spoke quietly, I hadn't even checked the time before I'd left my room. 

"Hi" I whispered to him, closing the door behind me and leaning on it. 

He looked up from his book, "Hi" He answered, almost confused. 

I hadn't spoken to him in three days, confused and conflicted about what I'd learnt.