The Veil

Chapter Forty-Three

Sorry it's taken so long to upload this chapter, I've had a crazy week with work and my friend is moving and I've been helping her every second I'm not at work, I've hardly been in my house! But I'm trying to get two-three chapters up this evening!

Thank you to anyone reading, voting and commenting, I really appreciate it! 

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Todd took my description and told the rangers over the radio what they were looking for, he promised to ring me with any news and told me to go home and warm up, after scolding me again for being in the forest so late in the freezing temperatures. 

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, knowing it was coming from a good place. 

I really wanted to help more, I want to grab flashlights and go searching myself, but I knew it wouldn't do any good. 

I let Tom pull me home, I was exhausted and my run through the frozen trees hadn't helped.

I didn't want to face Jade and Andrew but I knew I had to. 

"Did I tell you what Lindsay said?" I asked Tom when we were a few minutes from the house. 

We'd been walking in comfortable silence until then. 

"About what?" He asked, glancing down at me, his nose red from the cold. 

"Ages ago now, but she suggested going home, seeing if that would help with the dreams and stuff, like it would give me closure or something." I told him, thinking she might be right now.

He frowned, "You've told Lindsay about it but not Jade and Andrew?" He asked. 

I bit my lip and nodded. I did feel guilty about it, all the time. "Not about my parents or anything, but it's different with them, you know? Like I want to protect them from everything, and I know they'd freak out. I didn't know we'd get mad and argue but, I knew they wouldn't handle it well, and-" I pulled him to a stop, we were at the end of our street under the eery glow of a street lamp. I waited until he looked down at me. I sighed, "I didn't want them hovering all the time. Worrying about me, checking on me." I said, backing out of what else I wanted to tell him. 

"Ok, I get it." He shrugged. 

He gently smiled at me and his hair fell into his eyes, he looked so beautiful and perfect in that moment I chickened out, I didn't want to tell him why I'd lied to him and said the tablets had worked. 

"Is there another reason?" He asked, arching a brow at me. 

I shook my head, I quickly tiptoed and kissed him, moving the hair out of his face and smiling. 

He smiled back and then got us moving again, pulling us closer to the house.

Andrew and Jade were in the living room, Sky sat at their feet, probably sensing their moods as she had her head resting on the couch between them, one of their hands in the fur of her neck. 

They both jumped and turned to look at us as we walked in. 

I wanted to just walk passed them both, storm upstairs and lock myself in my room until it passed, but as I went to walk, they both stood up and tried talking at the same time, Tom grabbed the sleeve of my coat and pulled me to a stop. 

I tossed him a betrayed glare and he smiled, grabbed the top of my arms and walked me to the armchair before gently pushing me into it. 

I folded my arms over my chest like a child and looked at Sky rather than them.

"Be nice, they feel bad." Tom whispered in my ear and kissed the top of my head, he walked off into the kitchen. 

"Listen, I know you are hurt that I didn't tell you guys, but I was scared ok, it's not fun not knowing what is wrong with you, and I have the right not to tell you things like that." I said, still not looking at them, trying to make my voice stern.

"We know! Lily I'm so sorry! I was just worried and you know I get angry when I get scared and I overreacted and I totally understand why you didn't tell us, we really are sorry." Jade said in a rush, I looked at her and she looked so sorry, I felt a little guilty for being dramatic and leaving for the woods now that the anger had worn off. 

I could see it from their perspective, if Jade told me something was wrong with her, or the baby, I'd be worried too, freaked out. And if she kept it from me I'd be mad too, my brain would automatically go to her not trusting me. 

"I'm sorry for running but you have to understand, sometimes I just need to deal with stuff myself, you two are so open and I love that about you. I'm not, and I can't make myself be as open as you guys, especially about this shit. I don't like to worry you guys, especially now. You have to realise it's not because I don't love you, or I want to keep stuff from you, I just, I have to sometimes, okay?" I said, finally looking at Andrew as well as Jade, pleading them with my eyes for them to understand me. 

"We'll try and not take it personal, promise." Andrew smiled at me. 

I blew out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding in, feeling a lot lighter than I had for a long while,I slumped back into the arm chair. 

I did have one more thing I needed to tell them that I'd been putting off, "I forgot to tell you guys, me and Tom are going to Anchorage this weekend, we're leaving Thursday night." I internally cringed, hoping it wouldn't cause another outburst from any of us.

"Ooh, what are you going for?" Jade asked, visibly less tense than when I'd walked back in. 

I wanted to tell them as much as the truth as I possibly could without giving all my secrets away.

 I shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, "I used to live close by, we're getting some early Christmas shopping started, picking up a few things." 

"You'll be here in the afternoon though, after my scan?" She asked, eye wide. 

"I will, Tom's working but I wouldn't miss hearing you trying to explain the heartbeat to me." I beamed at her, already excited.