The Veil

Chapter Sixty

I saw Tom hesitantly peak around the door, his eyes were sad, he still looked like he needed a shave and more sleep.

The guilt ripped through me again. I needed to tell him I was sorry, I needed to move, I needed to not be in this room forever.

Tom moved into the room when he saw I was awake and he dumped himself on the bed next to me without hesitation.

As soon as Tom slid himself under the covers with me, I buried my face into his chest.

Partly because I was embarrassed about everything he'd found out about me, and I was worried to look into his eyes and see if he was looking at me differently, partly because I needed to be close to him again, smell him again, feel his arms wrapped round me.

Another one of the reasons I'd been avoiding getting up and facing him, he said it was fine in the hospital, but he'd had time alone to think, to change his mind. To read the crazy ramblings in my mom's journal.

I could feel his initial shock as he tensed for a second, then he breathed a sigh of relief, almost as if he had been waiting to touch me again too.

His arms wrapped tightly around me, tighter than he usually did.

"I love you." I whispered into his chest, I needed to say it, needed him to know that I still loved him and I was still here and it was almost a silent question, did he still love me?

He sighed again, and again it sounded like relief. "I love you too Lily. So much." He squeezed me closer to him and I felt his lips on the top if my head.

I wrapped my arms under him and squeezed too, so tight he grunted to indicate it was too tight.

A small laugh escaped him as I loosened slightly.

A sudden thought popped into my head, something I'd thought about a lot that I needed to apologise for.

I'd felt terrible when it happened, and then everything got crazy and I hadn't had time to tell him how sorry I was. "I'm sorry I crashed your car Tom." I said in a rush.

He laughed again, my head shaking slightly when his chest moved. "What?"

"I ruined your car that night, I'm so sorry! I can pay to fix it, or buy you a new one?" I turned my head to look at his face for the first time in a long time.

He'd let his beard grow, I didn't know if it was intentional or not, from the dark circles under his eyes I'd say probably not.

He looked exhausted and I got another pang of guilt knowing it was probably partly my fault.

As he looked down at me he had the same love and warmth in his beautiful green eyes, the sadness I'd seen when he walked in seemed to dim, his eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled down at me.

He just laughed again and shook his head at me, "Let's face it, I needed a new car anyway." he slowly lifted his hand to my cheek and my body reacted before my mind could, I leaned into it and sighed deeply.

I'd missed his touch, I'd missed him so much and I hadn't even gone anywhere, he hadn't gone anywhere.

Except I had, my mind had, it couldn't stop thinking about how my parents lied to me and hurt me, just was much as Malik had. Lindsay had.

They'd all lied to me and it had ended up hurting more in the end than if they'd have told me the truth to start with.

Now I was pinned down by all the new things I'd found out about myself and I had no idea how to deal with them.