6 Years Too Late

Eight

⚠️ TW//mild ⚠️

Calum's POV

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I yell, knocking my forehead into the shower wall over and over. "How the fuck do I have a kid!?" I scream, angry tears running down my face, "And how the fuck have I not known for six years!?" I call out, pounding my fists against the wall too. Letting the emotions run from my eyes and down the drain for a while before I angrily shut the water off, stepping out and drying off haphazardly. Dressing in whatever my hand lands on in the closet, hoping it matches.

"Come on, Duke, we are going on a walk." I grumble, but he doesn't notice my attitude, getting excited at the word walk. I grab my phone and pack of cigarettes as I pass the nightstand, Duke running ahead of me and down the stairs towards the front door.

"You okay, man? Sounded like a thinking shower. Lots of curse words." Roy asks from the couch.

"No. I'm not fucking okay, and I don't mean to take it out on you. But damn, how can she drop that on me like it's no big deal?" I yell, grabbing the lighter off the shelf along with Duke's leash.

"Want company or want to be alone?" Roy asks calmly.

"Alone." I sigh, clipping the leash to Duke's collar.

"Don't do anything stupid!" He yells as I slam the door behind me, putting a cigarette between my lips and lighting it before I step off the porch. Relaxing slightly as the smoke fills my lungs. I head off on foot, not really sure where I'm going or how long I'll be gone.

Andi was right, and I hate that. She was so calm, so collected as she dropped that fucking bomb. 'Kason is my son, and also your son' well fuck Andi, I'm not ready for a kid! I was freaked enough about the idea of her maybe being pregnant from that night last weekend. Now I'm supposed to be a dad to a five year old who already has a life? One who has no idea who the hell I am? How the fuck do I do that!? I'm barely twenty-three! I'm not old enough to be a dad to someone. Just look at me, walking around my neighborhood half hung over with a cigarette between my lips.

What the hell was she thinking not telling me before? Years ago when we could have dealt with it, no one would have been mad about us making that choice together, we were still kids ourselves! We could have lived normal lives, we could have avoided everything if she had just fucking told me then! Quietly removed the obstacle instead of blowing it up six years later. It would have been before he was a he, before it was anything but a little bundle of cells. It could have been easy. It could have been painless and done with. No one needed to know.

I sigh, seeing the park ahead of me and heading for it. Duke would like to run and I want to sit. I know I just left for a walk, but I don't want to walk. Not really. I want yo get away from the hell my life suddenly seems to have become. I didn't ask for this! I didn't want to have a kid! I don't want to even now!

I fall against the closest bench, finishing my cigarette before stomping it out and replacing it with another. My phone slips out of my pocket as I put the lighter away. Sighing I open it, pulling up the photo of Kason again, studying his little face. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad... Andi's been doing it alone for his whole life. Could we make it work? Could I be a dad? Is he better off without me? Should I just tell her she was right and he is better alone? That I don't want to mess him up so I should just stay away? But will I regret that someday? Will I want to know him eventually? Will he resent me if I tell them he's better off without me? Will I resent myself for it... even if I think it's true?

Andi's POV

"Do you have to go home, gramma?" I hear Kason whine from the guest room.

"You are coming to Nashville in two weeks, Kason. It won't be long until I get to see you again. Don't you dare worry about missing me too much. We'll make cookies and ride the horses when you guys come out, okay? Just two weeks." Mum's voice echoes slightly.