Stolen

chapter 21💙🧩

Murdoc's POV

   I'll tell everyone the same thing until I die. And that's; don't fall in love. Loving someone is ok, but don't fall in love. You always have to hit the ground at some point. Whether someone leaves, or someone dies. You're always left alone. In this life or the next.

   I don't really know why I'm against it. Maybe because I let myself fall in love. I let myself fall for someone I knew I would never have, and I'm still paying for it. I couldn't fuck around with anyone because I thought of him. I hated sleeping, because he was always in my dreams. Some people like to dream about the people they can't have, but I don't. I would just wake up the next day without him, and suddenly I'd hurt again. Nothing changes, and I knew nothing would. 

   I used to keep myself up at night, but it makes everything worse in the long run. I don't think I could've cared less.

But I think the worst part is that I had lost my best friend. Nothing was the same, and suddenly he hardly gave me the time of day.

Apart from the time he was ridiculously drunk, and he barged into my room. I'd never seen that side of him before. He came in muttering angrily. I couldn't understand what he was saying until he crawled into my bed next to me. I turned to look at him and was met with a hand latching onto my throat.

"You just have to meddle with everything, don't you? Cause you're so fucking obsessed with me." He hissed that as his grip tightened. I tried to cough, but I couldn't. "I fucking hate you. Everything you've done to me, and I've just sat back and took it." My eyes widened, and I've got to say. I was pretty fucking scared. "You ruined my life, and right when it was starting to get ok, you came back and fucked it up again. I just wish I could fucking ki-" His voice started to crack, and he cut himself off. And after a few more seconds with his hand crushing my windpipe, he let me go. I coughed, choking for air. "I just need someone to love me.." I don't know if he wanted me to hear that since he said it so quietly, but I did.

I couldn't see him, but I could hear him sniffling. And I could feel him trembling. I was still in shock from what had happened, so I couldn't make myself talk. Oddly enough, I wasn't mad. I had kind of deserved it. I fought my brain and reached out, my hand resting on his shoulder. I also finally managed to find my voice.

"I love you." My voice was rough and it hurt to talk, but I didn't care. "I didn't think that was going to happen. I didn't think he would leave with him. I really didn't know about them." He shrugged my hand off his shoulder. I was kind of surprised he didn't hit me.

"That's not what this is about.." I could hear the pain dripping in his voice, and that knife in my heart just got jerked around. "I mean, it is.. But.." I sat up and reached over to turn my light on so I could see him. So he could see me. I turned back to see him red faced, tears staining his cheeks. He was hugging his knees to his chest.

"Talk to me, I want to make you feel better." I knew he was on something, and he reeked of vodka. I just wanted to calm him down, I hated seeing him so... broken.

"No you don't. You don't care about me.." He wiped fresh tears from his eyes, "You don't care about anyone." I didn't talk, because I knew he was about to let it all out. I could just tell. "I loved you so much, and you didn't care. I mean.. The night after I told you how I felt, you took some bird right past me and into your room.. And she was so fucking loud. Even after you knew, you still slept with me.. Knowing how much it hurt me, and you got off to it. Knowing you could have anyone, but I was just yours. You owned me.." I felt my chest burning with the guilt of everything I'd done. "I did everything you told me to just trying to please you, hoping I could make you love me. But I was stupid enough to think you would change for me!" He looked over at me and for a split second we made eye contact. But he quickly looked back down at the sheets. "Did I hurt you..?" The guilt got even worse with that. The fact that he still cared. He was worried about me. I was stunned.

"Uh.. No, I'm fine, Stu." He just nodded in response and rested his forehead on his knees.

"I had too much to drink, I can't believe I just did all of that.." He sounded embarrassed, and I couldn't imagine why.

"I still love you, you know? I always have. I treated you like property, and not like a lover. I hate who I was before prison. I hate that I slept around after you told me you loved me. I don't have an excuse for it. I can't justify what I did by saying I was terrified. I'd never felt the way I did about you. No one else had ever meant as much as you did. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you.." I chuckled, kind of freaking out. Not meaning to say all I had. He looked up at me then, tears still forming in his eyes. "I wish I would've grown up 10 years ago. If I had, none of this would have happened. We'd probably be shagging right now, honestly." I said, trying to make light of a shitty situation. I figured I'd regret it as soon as I said it, but 2D always managed to shock me.

"Can we..?" My jaw dropped for a moment.

"You wouldn't want to if you were sober." I said, figuring he would drop it.

"I wanted to when I was with Ace." And I swear my eyes popped out of my head. They must've. "I dreamed about you so much.. About us. I missed you every single day, but I tried to convince myself I didn't. That I just dreamed of you because I hated you. I loved Ace, but he wasn't you." And just like that, we'd both said too much. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to reject his offer, but I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want him to regret it.

He sat up straight, and scooted a bit closer to me. "I just wonder.." He leaned closer to me, our lips almost touching. "If it still feels the same.." He spoke in a whisper before I closed the gap between us.

I felt the electricity again. Something I'd forgotten I could feel. That feeling you get when you kiss the person. Your person. Even though this kiss wasn't rough, and it wasn't fast, the room was still spinning around us. He was the only person on the planet that mattered to me, and he was everything I wanted. I felt my cheeks dampen with tears I didn't expect. I turned my body towards his, moving my hand to cup his cheek. He moved his arms around me, and the kiss deepened. Along with my love for him.

After a few minutes of this, he pulled away. "I don't want to shag.." He moved down so he could curl up in the fetal position, his head in my lap.

"I know, Songbird." I rested my hand in his hair, stroking the side of his face gently. "Do you want to go to sleep?" I asked, him looking up at me.

"Please.. I just want to pretend like everything's normal again. Can I sleep with you..?"

"Of course, love.." And with that, he moved over to lay on the side of the bed. His side. He was facing me, and we locked gazes for a moment again. I reached over to turn my light off again, and laid back down beside him. He immediately scooted against me, nestling his face into my chest. His breath was warm against my skin, but he himself made my heart melt. I wrapped an arm around him, and moved the other underneath his head. He tiredly threw one of his arms around my waist.

"G'night, Murdoc." He said, his voice muffled by my chest.

"G'night, babyboy." Geez. Hadn't used that name in a while. I really hadn't meant to, but when he snuggled into me closer I was thankful I had.

And with that, he fell asleep. I expected to be up all night, but I ended up falling asleep soon after he did. Feeling safer in his arms than I had in decades.

Maybe falling in love isn't that bad after all.

AHHHHH
THIS CHAPTER TOOK SO FUCKING LONG
ok literally i haven't slept in 3 days so i'm sorry if this is trash but i NEEDED TO WRITE IT OK AND IM DYING BC ITS CUTE TO ME SOOO
ANYWAYYYY
ily guys sm and i hope you have a great day/night thank you so much for reading this you're beautiful💖💖💖