New Blood

Depression

BLUE

The next day, I was walking up to school alone. I wove through the crowds and headed to my first period class. Most of the class were there, as well as a new student- Bre’s boyfriend, Andy.

I headed over to my new group of friends and sat on the desk beside Jake. He grinned at me. I smiled back and looked over at Bre and Andy. The two were sitting on a desk. Bre sat on Andy’s lap, leaning back against his chest with his arms around her waist. He gave her cheek a kiss and she blushed. I smiled at her. She smiled back.

“I saw your show last night. You guys were amazing!” I said. Andy grinned.

“Thanks. You’re Blue, right?” I nodded. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Hopefully all good things.” I said. He nodded and looked up at Bre lovingly. She smiled.

“All good.” She promised. I looked away as the two kissed.

James sat at the far edge of the group, his hood up over his blonde hair. He was alone at the moment. I slid off of the desk, weaving between people’s conversations and sat next to him.

“Where’s Matt?” I asked.

James looked up at me. He didn’t look too good- his eyes were sad and I could tell he was feeling depressed.

“He’s sick.” He sighed. I pulled him in for a hug.

“It’s okay. He’ll be fine.” I said. James hugged me back and released me.

“Thanks.” He said, giving me a weak smile.

“Anytime.” I said.

I looked up as Crow walked into the room. She glanced at Alex, who was slumped over onto his desk, before looking over at Jake. Jake turned and glanced at her. She shook her head and walked over to our group. Bre and Andy were still going at it. Several people in the group were having their own conversations. Meanwhile, I was deep in thought, staring at the wall just over Crow’s head.

Do I like Jake? Well, the thought of him with someone else made me shudder. So does that mean I like him? Maybe, maybe not. I glanced up at him from under my bangs. He was laughing while talking with Kyle. An easy grin spread across Jake’s handsome features. Without knowing it, I smiled too. I felt some sort of connection with Jake. It was almost like we were meant to be, but I quickly dashed the thought.

No way would someone as perfect as Jake be perfect for me. I’m a mess up, a failure.

If it weren’t for me, my parents would still be alive. I was the reason they committed suicide.

I looked up at Jake again. He flipped his hair out of his face, exposing his snakebites and two eyebrow piercings. His leatherjacket tightened over his broad shoulders as he leaned forward. I could tell past his In This Moment shirt that he was lean. He wore a pair of black skinny jeans and combat boots with a few extra buckles. The overall effect of his skinnies with his two extra belts and the chain on his left hip nearly brought me to drooling. He was the epitome of the perfect guy. It wasn’t just his looks that made me think that, either. He was a gentleman, always being nice to his friends and I.