The Pretenders

A cold damp night

I suddenly noticed everyone was wearing a jacket because it was so cold i could feel it in my bones.

I hated November’s weather swings.

I started walking, searching around for him and left the light beer Evan handed me on a table.

It wasn’t big outside, but it was very crowded. Well one could imagine.

And then it hit me.

Practically everybody knows what it’s like to feel anxious, worried, nervous, afraid, uptight, or panicky.

Often, anxiety is just a nuisance, but sometimes it can cripple you and prevent you from doing what you really want with your life.

What was i waiting for?

What i wanted to do right now was to look into his eyes and listen to his voice.

And why does that makes me feel so weird?

Because you feel that when is someone you actually know, someone you know everything about, like his favorite pizza topping, or what kind of underwear does he like to use on Sundays. 

I didn’t know anything about him.

I just liked the way i felt when he was around him.

Evan grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye ‘Look there’s the guys! Come and meet them’ he smiled dragging me.

He was a male version of Mandy. Noisy, and edgy.

'So who are these guys anyway?' i laughed 'Queen's reincarnation?'

He winked. ‘Yo Matty, Nick how are ya boys?’ he placed his hands on the guys shoulders.

'Oh but look who is this Nick, our fucking salvation!' he laughed hugging Evan like a girl would do.

'Oh you don't have to say anything, you know that i love you guys'

'Awww' Mat and Nick said on unison.

'Have you guys met Jess yet?' he grabbed me by my shoulder.

Mat looked at me very amused. ‘Actually you look like someone i might know’

'How is that?' Nick asked 'Don't be a dick, leave her alone you have a gal'

'No. I'm serious, i know her' he laughed

Then i noticed how drunk they were. Or how sober i was.

'Ok so, you met, come with me, these two are a lost cause' Evan kept walking through the people.

'Look Evan. I really appreciate your dedication on getting me here so you can introduce me to these people' i kept following him 'But you don't have to'

We reached the balcony’s rail and we support our bodies on it.

And then the scream made me keep my sigh.

'Heeeeeey Evan Taubefauld!' he reached onto him. 

He was drunker than the last time i saw him drunk. 

Which was a lot.

He smelled of Johnson and Johnson’s and cigarettes.

I suddenly notice i was shaking and sweating, and i was colder because of the sweat and i was shaking because i was nervous not because i was cold.

'Alex are you alright? Dude you should stop drinking, can i get you a glass of water?' Evan was worried, he was so unstable he could fall off. His hands were on Alex's shoulders.

'That'll only make it worse' i answered.

Alex looked at me, his eyes shinning, his mouth curled up in a smile, one of his hands automatically took place on his hair. 

'Alex come on sit down' Evan helped him to sit on the closest chair.

'Are you okay?' i asked worried. He looked like he was about to puke.

'Yes love. I get drunk eeeeery fucking day' he smiled eyes swollen

'Can you stay with him? I'll go find some Tylenol or something' Evan dropped.

I nodded.

He looked at me so funny, like he wanted to say many things but his drunken state wouldn’t let him.

'You came' he finally said. 'You came because of me, didn't ya?' he said rising an eyebrow.

I sighed. ‘No, this is the party i told you about. Remember?’

He laughed. ‘No. Actually and unfortunately i don’t’

'Can you remember my name?'

‘Jesssssssicca’ he hissed. ‘Jessica you are very beautiful’

'And you are very drunk' i smiled 

Evan came jogging with a glass of water on his hand and two pills in the other.

'There' he sighed 'How many days have you been drinking' he asked mad.

Alex smiled while sipping the glass of water, pulled two fingers up.

'Two days? Are you fucking serious?'

'Yup. You know i can't write when i'm sober…' he got interrupted.

'Do you realize what happened last time you were obsessed with this shit?' he was whispering this time but he was so red you could see the contrast of his green veins through his skin.

Alex dropped his head. ‘Ok fine. I am a grown up for god sakes!’ everyone was aware of the discussion this time. ‘And if i need this crap i will use it as long as i need it, and i’m out of this shit hole you call a party anyway’

He walked pass the people. Evan looked at me.

'So that's it? You are going to let him go? That drunk?’ i asked with my eyes wide open.

'What? Were you not paying attention?' he walked away 'He is always drunk’