The Pretenders

The Media Hurricane

The lights of the flashes were blinding him.

He looked very annoyed and tired, he didn’t even had a chance to take his morning coffee cause his coffee mug went lost and there were only four coffee mugs left which weren’t enough but he managed to take a red bull and he realized that it didn’t do the work.

He had huge bags under his eyes and was constantly mad about his back pain.

'Welcome to Arctic Monkeys media mini tour, shortly you'll be able to ask as many questions as 60 minutes allows you to ask, please welcome them' the man started to cheer and was followed by the paparazzi sitting in that room.

He was sitting with his head tilted to one side and his black ray bans blocking the way to his eyes.

'First question' he demanded

A blonde woman stood up holding some sort of sketching pad. ‘I was wondering, how was the process to develop such a big album like AM, based on your previous albums that were so… Garage band like’

'We always try to evolve as a band, we have to mess with our sound a little, but we definitely played a lot with the tunes in this album' Matt answered

'We wanted something elaborated and vintage, or retro' Alex said

A man with a suit and tie stood up holding a coffee mug in his hand, Alex shook his head a little.

'Is Arabella based on a real woman?' the man said

Alex giggled. ‘Actually, i think is not. It has stuff like the cheetah print coat and the organic cigarettes that past couples of mine had, but it’s not one woman in particular’ he said 

'Alex, were you in a romantic relationship when you wrote the album? It talks a lot about partying and doing drugs, but also lovesick emotions and being in love, or love at first sight'

'First. I didn't wrote the album, we wrote it together and we put music to it together. Secondly, i wasn't in a romantic relationship while the album was in process but i was in love with someone when we were processing it, i think we all were at that point in love with someone' he looked at the guys and they were smiling in approval.

'Alex i know you might be tired of listening to this question' a brunette woman said 'But are you with someone right now?'

My eyes lit up for a second because of his smile.

'No, i'm certainly am not' he played with his hair 'But you'll certainly will know if i ever am, wouldn't ya?'

It hit me like a thousand knives, but who am i kidding? This was no kindergarten were you told your loved one on Monday and the next day you were a thing, this was the real life right? 

This thing was more complicated than i thought, and it was more complicated cause it had a complicated person involved.

'I want to talk about the incident on 2012 on that bar, with the man you got into a coma and passed a way three months later because of the magnitude of the punches you provoked on him' he said 'Why did you do that?' 

All of the guys looked at Alex at exactly the same time as the media started to react like a soda being agitated to that question, they were all asking the same question over and over, it felt like we were trapped in a cave with a never ending echo surrounding us. 

Alex zoomed out, his face went blank, almost like the man that asked the question spoke to him in another language he wasn’t familiar with.

If you looked closely to his face you could notice how he started to sweat.

Their manager went jogging and stood up in front of the table they were in and started to wave both of his arms in front of him in attempt to get the attention of the audience. ‘Career questions only!’ he said ‘Their private lives are non of your business’

'If he can answer his love life questions, he can answer the other ones'

'I'm not going to answer that' he said very stiff and serious. 'You have no legal rights so shut the fuck up. Can someone get that man out of here?' Alex stood up directing himself to the security guards.

They ignored him.

When everything went out of control their manager took them out of the room were the media people were gathered, he walked with them in complete silence to the tour bus and sat with them in it.

He looked at Alex with anger in his eyes. 

'Why do they have to ask those questions?' Alex asked

Their manager stood up and started breaking things like a maniac and screaming like he meant it. 

'Wow man stop!' Matt said

He stopped a while after he said that. ‘That’s not the fucking question Alexander. Why the fuck did you have to fucking do that in the first fucking place! You fucking twat!’ he screamed right to his face.

Alex was serious. I was standing quiet and still in the dining room of the bus.

'Because…' he interrupted him.

'Because you are a fucking twat' he repeated

He took a deep breath, and stared at me. ‘Who is she? What is she doing here? Is she with one of you?’ he asked

They all were silent, looking at his feet but the man was hoping for them to answer not me. And i wasn’t willing to answer because i was not going to get free screams from an asshole.

'So no answer huh?' he said

'I invited her' Alex said

He started to laugh ‘You did?’ 

Alex nodded.

'Well i have an idea' he said 'And you will do exactly as i say or you fuckers are out of the industry'

They all looked at his manager with their jaw dropped when he said that.

'You are going to get your reputation back, your image of good boy back, of shy adult and sexy mysterious Alex back, and the only thing you'll have to do, guessing she is like every other drooling-for-you girl, is marry that woman sitting there and act like the perfect fiance for at least six fucking months you fucking hear me? I'm going to organize the fucking engagement party, the fucking wedding and the fucking honey moon where you are going to make sure to demonstrate to those paparazzi that you love that woman more than you love your life and you will make everyone believe it's authentic love ok?'

We were all in shock, but Alex looked surprisingly excited about it almost like a child excited about Santa dropping his gifts under the Christmas tree.

'Wait no no no' i said 'I don't want to get married!' i said

'You wont it's just all fake'

'But i don't want to participate in this circus!' i yelled 'Are you fucking listening to yourself?' i said looking at this man 

'We'll pay you. You say the amount' 

'I am nor participating in this shit' i said 'Eveything will go wrong'

'No, Jess, listen to me' Alex stood up 'Is brilliant' he said

'No'

'Just for six months, we live together anyway'

'You live together? Is more than perfect! I'll start the arrengemnts tomorrow morning!'

'What?'

'Where do you want to get married?'