The Pretenders

The Pre-Nupcial

I came to the realization that there's a moment in life where you find yourself unrecognizable.

You can't even get the image in the mirror without it being distorted or preventing yourself from listening to your own voice echoing from the past inside your head, even if the past is a  few months earlier.

The man in the nice suit kept talking and the echoes were running through my head, cause lets face this, i wasn't exactly the kind of person that actually enjoys people.

So there's that.

She kept looking straight to the wall ignoring my eyes like her life depended on it, and that bothered the shit out of me. 

I didn't had to struggle for her attention, it was like an automatic thing, i just had to open my fucking mouth and she'll be melted for it. It wasn't like that anymore.

Something's changed. 

But even if something had actually changed, she is sitting in that chair, she is talking to my mother, and she is pretending to be someone that she clearly is not, and clearly she is not enjoying herself with such fake stories, and such fake smiles and fake everything.

'Alex sweetheart, i'm leaving you two here so you can arrange this okay?' my mother said in that motherly tone.

She stood up and walked slowly towards the door as i smiled at her and placed my eyes on Jess again.

'What?' she asked annoyed

I smiled, i was hoping she would kick it off with something like this.

'What do you want from me?' i crossed my legs smiling, because i have to admit, this shit im in? Hillarious. 

She bended over the huge wooden table in attempt to look bossy, but she didn't she couldn't manage to reach that image because she was the most manageable person i've ever known in my life.

'Nothing' she smiled 'I feel like this is actually something we should do, you know, as a couple' 

'C'mon Jessica drop it' i said standing up.

'No you drop it Alexander, you think cause you look all fancy and you are such a Don Juan, you can come in here and try to make me do things? Just because of it i'm getting my shit together'

'And do you think i can't go to another shitty bar and pick another random girl? You think thats hard for me?' i smiled 'Use your head would ya?'

She sat down and i saw the frown in her forhead, she wasn't pleased. 'Go to hell' she said as the second lawyer walked in with a blank paper and a writing  machine.

'So clearly' he cleared his throat 'The clients are a little bit tense aren't we?'

We looked angrily at the first lawyer and composed ourselves.

'So we are here for a pre-nup, Mrs. and Mr Turner, am i right?'

'That's correct' i said

'And how would like to manage that' he said putting his fingers in the typing machine.

'Well' Frank my lawyer began 'Properties, which are a house on the beach and the apartment in the city...' Jess interrupted.

'House on the beach?' she said.

'Yeah, i bought it for us cause that shithole we call apartment is driving me crazy'

'May i continue?'

Jess made a obeisance and smiled.

'The properties will be available for the bride 8 months post to the wedding, in case everything goes wrong according to her past behavior... Everything will be in the hands of  Mr.Turner as it was originally'

I smiled proudly.

I wasn't being an ass. I was being cautious.

'What? 8 months?' she asked

'Yes' i answered 'Any problem babe?'

She was losing her temper, her green eyes were nowhere to be found and her pale skin looked very redish at this point.

'Sweetheart calm down' i said 'Don't worry, i'm making sure you genuinly love me' i smiled.

She grabbed my hand and smiled. 'Of course i do'

'So i need you to sign in here' she grabbed the pen the lawyer was handing to her and she signed clinging her teeth in the process.

I did afterwards, and then i shook hands with the attorneys.

We went walking out the building in silence and reached the street.

'What the fuck?' she asked 'Why did you do that for?'

'Because that is what couples do, they sign pre-nups, you have your fucking apartment, and i have my shit, so don't fucking cry on me' i said

She looked at me straight in the eye. 'What if something happens?'

I smiled 'Something like what?'

She played with her long blonde hair. 'I don't know... Like... What if i'm... Pregnant or something?' 

I swear my heart stopped pumping for a split of second, like when they say everytime you sneeze your lungs stop working.

'What... What do you mean... Pregnant?' 

She smiled. 'Like pregnant, with a baby' she was trying to call a cab for the both of us.

'Look' i grabbed her by the shoulder 'The wedding is tomorrow, we just can't kill each other for at least six months and then everything will be fine yeah? So quit this bullshit'

'I quit when you give me what i diserve' she said

'Look. You are driving me crazy. I tell you i love you, you treat me like shit. I tell you i dont and you treat me like shit. I say nothing, you treat me like shit'

'What are you, twelve? You don't have to say it... You have to show it'

'Have you been reading those seventeen magazines or something, Jess come on, give me a hand would ya?'

She smiled at me and walked to the sidewalk and then she moved her long arm in the air as she bent over a little.

The wind the cars made played with her golden locks like in the movies.

A cab pulled over in front of her. 'What have you ever done for me that doesn't involves taken and absorbing me?'  she closed the door in my face.

I twisrted my head to the right a little and sighed. I guess i am twelve.

Chapter on Sunday!