The Other Halstead

Chapter 31- Silence says a thousand words.

"Addison?" Dr Charles said attempting to get a response from the vacant faced teen sat on his couch. "Addison?" He said again to which finally looked up.

"Yeah sorry what was the question again Dr Charles?" Addison said. She had zoned out so many times already this session and just couldn't focus. It was only a few days since the hostage situation and Jay and Will were making her see Doctor Charles everyday for at least a week to try and allow her to process the trauma.

"Addison are you feeling ok? Do you wanna take a break and grab something from the machine or something?" Dr Charles suggested noticing how exhausted and out of it the teen seemed.

"Nah I'm fine thanks Dr Charles I'm sorry." Addison said feeling guilty that she couldn't just focus, all people were trying to do was help her and all she did was push them away somehow.

"Don't apologise." Dr Charles said with a slight reassuring smile on his face. "Is the sleeping getting any better?" He continued looking at the girl with a genuine sense of compassion in his eyes.

"A little I guess, I just...I can't stop thinking about..." Addison began but paused and held back.

"Thinking about what Addie?" Dr Charles asked encouraging her to go on.

"I can't stop thinking about him pushing his gun to my temple, how cold the metal felt. It's weird but that's one of the main things I can remember. The fear that came after that he was going to kill me or Jay and when he got mad earlier on and started to beat me." Addison said and looked both angry and terrified at the same time. She began to struggle for breath again as she had done the other night and shook a little.

"Hey Addison, I need you to take slow, deep breaths for me ok? Four seconds in hold for four then out for four ok?" Dr Charles said with a hand on her shoulder trying to calm her.

"I'm...I'm sorry." She said between strained breaths.

"It's ok, you don't have to say you're sorry this isn't your fault. Have you had a panic attack before?" Dr Charles asked once her breathing began to regulate and stood up to open his door and ask a nurse to get some O2.

"Yeah, the other night. The first night after the hostage situation. I had a nightmare, woke up and I couldn't breath. I thought I was gonna die, but Jay text Will and he said it was all just a part of the left over adrenaline and delayed panic from everything that happened." Addison explained.

"And it was, he was right." Dr Charles said as he thanked the nurse that came back through the door with the oxygen canister and mask as he took them off of her to put on Addie. "Addie I wanna put you on some meds to help with the therapy." She looked like she was about to object as she was breathing into the mask but he continued. "It's only a small dosage and we'll gradually get off of them. It's just that you seem exhausted and the hyperventilating isn't helping." Dr Charles explained and Addison nodded still with the mask on knowing that with her brother's watching her twenty-four seven she was never going to get away with not taking meds that could help her.

"Dr Charles. Do you think i could go back again?" Addison asked taking off her mask.

"Go back?" Daniel asked confused at what she meant.

"Yeah like go back to how I was before the attack?" Addison clarified.

"Addison, I think you can go on to something better. Sometimes in life we are shaped most by our experiences, good and bad." Dr Charles answered with a reassuring smile.

"I just don't wanna let my brothers down. They try so hard to give me a good life. I wanna repay them by showing them I'm going to give everything I've got." She said in response.

"Addison you're not going to let them down. I don't usually say this to patients but I know you so I'm going to. You have been through so much, with your Dad both at home and when he passed, with your Mom passing, the flu, the bullying, the hostage situation. All of it and you are still a good kid with a bright future. Take it because I have a fair few patients that I can't say the same for at the moment." Dr Charles said and she nodded understandingly.

"Thanks Dr Charles." Addison said gratefully.

"Anytime and I think if you haven't got anything left to talk about that's the end of our session today." He said. "I've got a lunch with Cece so I'll give you this prescription. Jay swinging by to take you home?" He asked and passed her the prescription.

"Him or someone from the unit." Addison said.

"Alright I'll see you later." Dr Charles said as Addison walked out of the room.

"Yeah thanks again Dr Charles see ya." Addison said and walked towards the pharmacy to get her prescription before going to meet Jay or someone from Intelligence at the entrance of Gaffney.

"Hey how did it go?" Will said spotting his sister when she walked through the ER to leave.

"It was as good as it could have been how's your shift?" She said in response.

"Busy, Jay's outside in the car I think." Will said and Addison began to walk towards the exit passing Connor and fist bumping him before leaving.

"See ya later Will." Addison said and left meeting Jay in the parking lot.

"Did it help?" Jay said which was all he ever said about it not wanting to invade on her therapy. It was private to her and unless she wanted to share it with him he wasn't going to press her to tell him about it.

"It was good, but I freaked out a little, had another attack when we talked about Reagan so he said he'd give me some meds to help with the anxiety, said it would make me sleep better too." She explained.

"Ok well that's good isn't it?" Jay asked.

"Yeah are you busy today?" Addison said referring to Jay's work.

"As always. Hey Antonio got a call off Gabby, she asked if you wanted to swing by 51 for a shift on Friday, see everyone." Jay asked.

"Sounds good." Addison said with a smile.

"Alright then let's drive." Jay said and they drove out of the parking lot back towards Jay's apartment.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter sorry dragged a little, but just had to finish this part of the story up about aftermath of the hostage situation. Next chapter should be better as we are at 51! Thanks for reading will update soon :)