505 days ~ irwin

472 days before

Brinley

I knew that Ashton was going to come over because he does everyday. I turn on my phone and check the time. 13:07. I swear I could hear him coming up the stairs. My parents are at work and my brother is at daycare, because my parents don't trust me enough to care of the kid because I am one myself, which I would totally agree. I knew he was outside my bedroom door at this point, which made my heart patter because I was so nervous. I laid down on the cold tiled bathroom floor, curled up in a little ball. I was so cold, I had a crew neck sweater on, with black socks that went up to my thighs. I start to hear footsteps that were leading up to the door. I was scared he would burst in through the wood barrier, or just yell at me some more. 

"Brinley, open the door." He says in between knocks.

"No." I yell.

"Brinley, for fucksake, let me explain." Ashton stopped knocking, and I heard a loud thump on the door, which I guessed, he rested his head on.

"Piss off and let me be." I stand up from the ground, staring at myself in the mirror instantly.

Mascara mixed with tears ran down my face, covering my cheeks and framing around my chin. I looked down, pushing the tap, and watching the water flow. I must have stood there for ages, because I could hear anything, not even Ashton. Who was probably about to bust down the door.

"Brin? what are you doing in there?" I finally heard his voice, muffled through the door.

I walked towards the bath, doing the same with the the shower as I did with the sink. Both the water running made it easier to block out Ashton's voice. Hearing him in pain would make it so hard not to open the door. The loud vibrating knocks became little taps in the back of my mind.

I sat on the edge for longer than I thought, I spent that time just blanking out, not hearing anything else, I was just thinking.

I stood up from my place, prying the door open that led to my closet. My room had a door to my closet and bathroom, but it had a door just in between that led to each other to connect. I separated my sweater rack and made myself a nice spot on the carpeted ground. I know Ashton was going to be busting down the door sometime soon, I just had to be prepared. I shut the closet door, despite it had no lock, it would save me even a nick of time. I kept the light on in the bathroom, and that was my only source of brightness. My closet was so dark, I was so terrified anymore. I shut my eyes, focusing on the water running. In the back of my mind I could hear loud thuds and Ashton screaming his lungs out. I'm pretty sure he thought I was dead or something. Brinley from a week ago would open both doors, turn off the tap, then began to feel pity for Ashton. But Brinley now is reclusive, and feel nothing.  

I sit in the corner with my eyes shut, I knew Ashton is going to be in here soon. He's going to be so upset, but he has no right to. I do. I completely tuned out everything, a meteor could come in though the roof and I probably would notice until I was dead. 

I open my eyes.

Ashton was hysterical, prying open the closet door and staring at me, for not even half a second. He stumbled over to me, not saying a word until I would make eye contact with him.

"Fucking hell, Brinley. Are you fucking mad?" He sounded British, like he made one too many phone calls with Harry. 

Ashton crouched down to my face, but I refused to look up at him. "Brinley, love. Please don't be like this." 

My face was still covered in mascara stains, and tears falling from my chin because they ran down so slowly. I started to cry every last single tear I could, I broke.