Hope ~Yato x Reader AU~

Chapter 5: Wavering Cry

"Here ya go. Some tea," Yato announces, passing me a mug full of the steaming beverage.

"Thanks," I swallow, taking the cup into my hands.

I can feel a smoldering warmth radiating through the thick ceramic, the heat pulsating against my skin. Steam drifts from the surface of the drink, whisking in a gentle dance until it vanishes. The sweet scent of the beverage lingers in my nostrils, the perfect combination of the fragrance and warmth blending beautifully together in a soothing bond, calming me.

Though the tears are gone, my eyes are swollen, and my nose is stuffy, but at least I can breathe. I can breathe and my face is relaxed. Every muscle in my expression is unflexed and utterly even. My lips are pressed in a hard line as my thoughts drift.

It's stupid and hopeless -I know it is- but I just can't chase him from my mind. To believe, he's getting married. Kaito, my first love, is getting married. It's funny...I always thought...that I'd be the one walking down the aisle to him. I always thought it'd be the two of us. Foolish, I know. I was so young back in those days. Of course, I thought my first love would be my only love. Of course. I was so hopeful and eager back then...and naïve.

I was just a simpleminded teenager who still believed in fairytales and happily ever afters. But life is not a work of fiction. This is the reality. This is the real world. In this realm of what is, there are hardships, disasters, and trauma. There are not just smiles and rainbows -there are tears and rain. And that is the reality.

"So," Yato says, taking a seat on my sofa. "Ya wanna talk about...that?"

My heart drops. Do I want to talk about that? About that whole scene? Do I really want to indulge in these thoughts with him? Honestly, part of me does. Part of me really wants to lay it all down in front of him, but another part of me -a greater part of me- does not want to revisit that sadness and utter devastation.

I tighten my grip on my mug and shake my head. "No. Not really."

"Okay," he sighs. "So, ya don't wanna get that off your chest?"

"Not currently," I mumble.

I can feel him observing me -those piercing blue orbs pinning me to where I sit. I can feel it all and I am not a fan. Him staring at me, his observant stare soaking me in makes me feel so...small. It makes me feel small and I don't want to feel that way. Not after feeling so lost and confused after my chat with Kaito.

"Are ya sure?" he presses.

I nod, "Yup. A hundred percent."

There's a brief pause before he says, "Well, just let me know when ya wanna change your mind."

Comical. He thinks I'll break down and talk about this, but he's wrong. After all, there's nothing really to discuss. Not with him, anyway. Besides, why would a god involve themselves in this petty mortal stuff?

My throat goes dry.

Demigod. That was what he had told me. That he thought me of all people, is a demigod. I wanted to laugh when he first suggested that theory...even now, I still want to laugh at it. I mean, a demigod? Really? That makes no sense. No sense at all. So, what if my biological father and his mother saw the same things I did? There are psychiatric reasonings for that, I'm sure. Scientific explanations that can be proven with actual scientific facts and studies. Mental and psychological explanations...right?

"Somethin' else on your mind?" he continues, drawing my attention to him. He is sitting with his arms crossed firmly over his chest, those eyes of his on mine. He adds, "You're quiet. What is it?"

I bite my lower lip. Should I bring it up? Should I ask what he means and thinks? Or, should I just leave it alone? The honest truth is, I don't know. I don't know any of the answers. Something deep within me wants to learn more about what he means, but I'm almost too...anxious. I'm almost too anxious to find out.