Hope ~Yato x Reader AU~

Chapter 47: Feelings

I freeze.

I freeze, blinking as if to bring myself back to reality. A quick glimpse around and it clicks. Sure enough, I have moved closer to Yato, our lips so close, yet so far away, his sweet scent running up my nostrils. I can practically feel his body heat beating against me, feeding into the way my heart hammers against my ribs. Even now, even with this sudden clarity, I am still gravitated to him, but that's when my face flushes red, a warm sensation masking my cheeks and ears.

Feeling embarrassed, I jump back, squeaking, "S-sorry! I-I...I didn't mean to...I wasn't...I-I'm so sorry Yato!"

He scans me, those deep irises searching me as they've done so many times before. And much like before, I am lost, unsure as to what he's searching for. All I am certain of is that he is most certainly searching, digging through me in the hunt for something. Something that I'm not sure if I can provide him.

He stares for a few more seconds before a low chuckle rolls through his lips as he smirks, "You shouldn't want to kiss me. Though I won't lie, I do wonder what it'd be like."

This catches my attention. "Wait...what?" I slowly straighten my posture. "You..."

"Yeah," he shrugs. "I wonder. I know I shouldn't, just like you shouldn't. It's not right and it's not fair to him."

Him? I ponder. Who the hell is him? That's when my eyes widen. Him. The only him there is that has ever truly held my heart in his grasp. The only him I've ever wanted to be with. Kaito. He's talking about Kaito.

"How...how did you know?" I ask, knitting my brows together. "How did you find out about Kaito?"

He fidgets with a fallen petal, questioning, "You want the truth?" He glimpses at me and I nod in return, encouraging him to continue, "I saw the two of you. I've seen the two of you a few times." He runs his fingers through his hair. "I've seen the way you two look at each other. You two...you both always look so happy and like no one else in the world matters."

His lips form a saddened smile, his stare appearing hollow in a sense. Honestly, it hurts me to see how this affects him. It truly seems to strike a nerve in him, though I'm still not entirely sure why. Is it because he had something similar with Hiyori? Is it because he wanted something similar with her? Or, is what he is confessing him being vulnerable about his feelings for me?

The final option almost makes me want to laugh. I mean, Yato liking me? That alone is like a joke. However, as I continue to stare at him, absorbing everything that is Yato, it doesn't seem as farfetched. Especially when I take into account everything he's already said.

"If only you saw the way he looks at you," he continues, pulling me back to the moment.

I blink, saying, "What? But...I do see the way he looks at me. I see that every time I look at him."

That same saddened smile flashes across his lips as he shakes his head. "No, you don't. You see him in the light you place him in, and that blinds you. What you fail to see is how his eyes light up when he sees you. How his breath catches in his throat when he hears you. How he has to balance himself so that he doesn't fall when he's near you. How he smiles at you, admiring the way you look the other way." He lowers his tone. "You don't see any of that. The way he looks at you...he's looking at you like a man in love looks at the woman he loves...and he does love you."

My heart flutters at that, Kaito's face flashing through my mind. I can imagine him perfectly, everything from the dimples in his cheeks to the way his ebony locks fall along the sides of his face. However, it's not just his features I picture. During all this, I remember all the times we spent together and how it made me feel. No matter what, no matter the situation, I always felt safe and secure alongside him. No matter what...it always just felt right to be around him. Always.