Hope ~Yato x Reader AU~

Chapter 43: Coin Toss

I don't think my eyes can get any wider.

What I just heard...there's no way that he just said that -no way in hell. I must have misheard him...I must have. But as he brings his vivid blue eyes to me, I can tell that I hadn't misheard him. As much as I don't want to admit it, he did say that. He really and truly did just say that.

"What?" I squeak. "What do you mean? Why...why would you have to cut ties with me? I...I don't understand."

He observes me before sighing, "If you're a human, then you should live a life just like that."

No...no fucking way. I panic internally. He can't...he wouldn't...would he? Cutting ties...he's done that before. He did that to Hiyori. He did that to her and that was not what she wanted, but he did that for the same reason. He wanted her to live a normal human life...free of gods and regalia. But I'm not Hiyori and I refuse to accept that.

I shake my head. "No! No, I won't let you! I refuse! Do you hear me? I refuse, Yato! I won't let you do that!"

"You don't have a say!" he snaps, causing me to shrink. "If you're a human, then I'm cutting ties so that you can live a normal human life. Do you get that? Do you understand?" He must notice my cowering because his features soften, his voice losing the edge as he huffs, "Sorry. Didn't mean to...I'm sorry."

I can see the guilt wash over his face. He regrets letting that happen, I can tell. Remorse fills his eyes, but there's still that other emotion of what I assume to be sorrow as well. The two mix together and it shatters my heart...but I'm still determined.

"What's my other option?" I ask. "I don't want to cut ties, so what's the other choice?"

"Don't perform the ceremony," he shrugs.

My mouth drops open. "What? Wait, that's not fair! You're...you're really gonna hold both of these in front of me like that? Seriously?"

"Hey, you said you wanted another option and I gave it to you," he states matter-of-factly.

"Stop that! You know what I meant," I snarl. "This isn't funny Yato."

His eyes bore into mine, his stare diving deep into me as they search me, like a swimmer dancing through the waves. It's so intense that I can almost feel him twirling through those murky currents, nearly hitching my breath. To be honest, I'm not even sure what's happening. My knees are wobbling beneath my body and my hands are starting to tremble as an invisible force tries to smother me. Trying. It's trying, like it wants me to drown in myself, but my gaze remains fixated on Yato. I remain fixated on him...on those brilliant orbs which are the only lights to shine on the shore.

It all confuses me, to be honest. I'm not sure how or what I feel right now. Well, that's only partly true. I know that I'm frustrated with the two options I've been presented, but that's all I know. Aside from that, I have no idea what emotions are running through my head. But one thing is certain.

My pulse is strumming in my ears at a deafening pitch.

There are a few moments of silence before he breathes, "It's not supposed to be funny. It's not a joke. These are your options." He cocks his head to the side, never tearing his stare from mine as he adds, "So, what will it be? Do the ceremony and risk cutting ties, or forget it altogether?"

My heart sinks into my stomach. He's being serious. These really are my only options. There's no other offer on the table and that makes it all ten times more difficult. On the one hand, we can perform the ceremony and I can find out what I am once and for all. However, if it comes back that I'm just a normal human girl, then I risk having my ties with Yato cut. On the other hand, I can abandon the ceremony altogether and remain oblivious as to what I am, but at least then Yato will still be in my life.

Both are very difficult choices to choose between, but I have to. I have to make a decision. One way or another, something has to be decided, but either way, there's still something to lose. Lose my friendship with Yato or lose the answers I need. Both choices taste bitter in my mouth and I feel so defeated by this.

But that said, I can still feel Yato's stare remain trained on me as he stands there, patiently awaiting my answer. He must be aware of how conflicting this all is for me so that's why he isn't rushing me. At least, that's what I assume. He's being awfully quiet, but all silence must come to an end at one point or another.

With a haggard breath, I try to laugh weakly, "You're really yankin' my chains. Ya know that, right?"

"Yeah," he swallows, a small smile tugging at his lips. "So, which is it?"

I shake my head. "I...I don't know. I don't wanna choose. Do I really have to do this?"

"Yes, you do," he answers lowly. "Have you decided yet?"

The truth is, no, I haven't. An internal war is taking place within me, two halves of me fighting for different desires. Both selfish in their own ways, but ways that still sting. However, I can't stand here debating forever. In the end, I have to make a choice, so I do.

"I have five yen on me," I state, digging into my pocket.

Yato blinks, stammering, "W-wait, you can't wish your way out of this. Even if you do, I won't grant it. One or the other."

"If you won't grant it, then I'm leaving my faith in the coin," I say, puffing my chest. He shoots me a confused expression, so I explain, "Toss -a coin toss. Heads, perform the ceremony. Tales, we leave now. What do ya say?"

He glimpses between the coin and me before chuckling, "Alright. Deal." He crosses his arms across his chest. "Okay. Go ahead."

With anxiety bubbling in my stomach and my knees still quivering, I swallow the lump in my throat, thrusting the coin up into the air. It twirls and all I can think about it that no matter what, this could very quickly become a loss. The only thing that can save this is if we perform the ceremony and I am a demigod and if that's what I need to happen, then I need it desperately...because I don't want to lose Yato.

The coin falls back into my hand and I flip it on the back of my other hand, exposing the results. My heart is slamming against my sternum, the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I'm trembling, nervous to see what the results are when I finally peek down, my heart leaping into my throat.

Yato observes the coin, laughing halfheartedly, "Well, looks like ceremony it is."

Heads. It landed on heads.

**Hello my sweet lovelies! So, there will be a ceremony, which means there's that possibility that Yato will cut ties with Y/N if she's a human. Knowing that, are y'all nervous at all? Totally feel free to let me know! As mentioned last Friday, today was the cut off to send in any questions for the Fun Facts section. Anyway, thank you SOOOO much for everything! Y'all are coolio! Wuv yous!! <3**

-Noel Ross