Hope ~Yato x Reader AU~

Chapter 17: No Take Backs

It's smooth.

The locket Kaito had gotten me. It's smooth and shimmering in the golden haze which pours in through my kitchen window. It feels so small in the palm of my hand, but it weighs heavily on both my mind and heart. This locket holds such a tremendous part of my life within it. Parts of my life that I can never go back to or get back.

The teapot begins to whistle, beckoning for me. With a hardy sigh, I push up from my seat and remove it from the burner, flicking the stove off. The sound isn't unbearable, but the last thing I want to do is to accidentally wake Yato up. He might be upstairs in my bed still sound asleep, but I don't want to risk anything. After all, the poor guy is tuckered out. So, I'm letting him rest while I try to clear my head. Try being the keyword.

I pour the steaming water into my mug, trying to sort through all that's going through my head. My feelings were so clear before. I knew exactly what I thought about Yato. I saw him as what I considered a friend. A friend. There was nothing else there. No deep feelings nor sexual attraction. Just platonic innocence. So, what shifted that? Is it from being alone all this time? Is it because of what happened with Toro? What happened?

Confused, I finish making my tea and take a drink of it. The warm beverage slides down my throat warming me from the inside out. I made it to help ease my mind, but there's no easing this harrowing brain. Like a train that refuses to pull into the terminal, it is racing. And racing and racing and racing.

"How long have I been out?" a tired voice yawns, pulling me back to reality.

I nearly spit my tea out and turn, my stare landing on a tired Yato. He is standing there, rubbing one of his eyes as one of the shoulders of his jacket droops down. His thick locks are messy and untamed, framing his face perfectly. That's when it happens. That's when my heart slams against my ribs.

"Umm, for about an hour," I answer, working my best to ignore the shaking.

"Not as bad as I thought." He stretches. "Hey, listen. I'm sorry I kinda passed out. I was sorta up all night."

So, he didn't sleep at all last night, after all. That confirms that. I ponder, recalling our earlier exchange before he fell asleep. He had been so relieved to see I was okay and so...apologetic. The urgency and fear in his eyes still flash through my mind, but he's not saying anything about it now, so it must have just been due to him being exhausted. Makes sense. Seems me feeling this way and getting worked up is all for nothing.

"It's okay," I swallow, faking a smile. "Do ya want some tea? There's plenty."

He glances at the teapot and shrugs, "Thanks, but nah. I should be heading out. Don't want Yukine sending out a search party for me."

"Right," I nod, slightly tightening my grip on my mug. "Well, thank you...for helpin' me out last night, that is. I really appreciate it."

That's not a lie. I do appreciate what he did for me, but I'm not too keen on watching him leave. I rather he stayed here...for just a little longer. I just...I want to spend some time with him. That's all.

"I really do appreciate it," I repeat, sipping my tea.

There's a pause before he says, "I wasn't trying to upset you earlier. I just...I wanted you to know how sorry I was...how sorry I am." He lowers his head. "I truly mean it when I say that. I am so, so sorry, Y/N. I never meant for you to get hurt. I'd understand if you're upset with me."

I shake my head, pushing up from my seat. "No, it's not like that. It's not like that at all. Really, I'm fine. I'm not upset at all." I bite my lower lip. "Besides...because of you, I didn't end up in a compromising situation. So, for that, I thank you. I thank you tremendously."

He slowly brings his eyes to mine, the fierceness of them dulled into something more tamed. Something that catches me by surprise. Those pools of oceanic blue are once again like fire. Raging, iron hot blue flames that can scorch a man with the faintest of touches. That's what I see staring back at me and that's what hitches my breath.

He is gazing into my eyes and I am gazing into his, the world becoming a haze that we both block out. Suddenly, there is nothing else. Just the two of us. Just us and nothing else.

And the gravitational pull that begins to tug at us.

Without thinking, my face grows closer and closer to his, his lips suddenly appearing so close to mine. I can't help but notice how soft they look and am wondering how they taste as my heart hammers against my ribs. My eyelids begin to grow heavy, this feeling overwhelming me hypnotizing me to close them.

I can feel myself nearing Yato, his body heat pulsating against me, causing the excitement to pull at me. I am ready. I am ready for this. Whatever this moment leads to, I am ready. I accept and embrace it with open arms.

That is, until Yato's hand comes up, cuffing my mouth.

My eyes flicker open, meeting his. His stare is wide, a mixture of emotions floating at the surface of his brilliant orbs. His mouth is agape, rough pants rolling through his lips as his eyes bounce between my lips and stare. All the while, he trembles.

"I'm...I'm sorry," he says in a shaky voice, gingerly lowering his hand. "I...I...I should go. I need to go." He backs away, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I...please forgive me."

I open my mouth to reply, but as soon as I do, he's gone, vanishing from my kitchen, leaving me alone with my conflicted thoughts. Alone in my memories. I drop my stare back to my locket.

Some things can never be taken back.

**Ello my awesome lovelies! How y'all doin'? Hope y'all had a lovely Christmas! Or whatever else ya celebrate. At the time of typing this, it was the week before Christmas, so it's been hectic and crazy here. After the New Year, it should all calm down...hopefully lol. But I hope y'all had a great holiday! I also hope you enjoyed this installment! Y'all are amazeballs! Wuv yous!! <3**

-Noel Ross